Friday, September 25, 2009

Omega Lithium - Dreams in Formaline (2009)

Do you remember the past few releases from Norway's Kovenant, kind of a poppy tinted industrial metal? Croatia's Omega Lithium recalls to me this musical style, with a young female singer the likes of Evanescence or Lacuna Coil. If you haven't already thrown up in your mouth, then I advise you: DO NOT look at pictures of this band.

Despite all these aesthetic nightmares, Dreams in Formaline actually isn't as bad as it could have been. But it is the sum of numerous unimpressive parts. To begin with, Mya Mortensen's vocal: mind you, she does not have a bad voice. It's crystal clear and not exactly annoying, but it always feels as if it's reaching for something it cannot grasp. The range isn't the issue, it's just her selection of notes is not very catchy. The 'vampiric' male goth vocals aren't much better. Below this, the other three members of the band write some pedestrian chugging guitar rhythms (kind of like Rammstein) alongside very synth-heavy atmospheres, which also never captured my attention throughout the record. While listening to the band's single "Stigmata", I found myself bored to tears. Of the songs that do not completely suck, "Snow Red" had its moments and "Angel's Holocaust" may have worked as a synth rock piece with the aggressive male vocals until Mortensen's voice appeared.

Some of the lyrics here are fucking TERRIBLE. I mean, like scratched-on-a-napkin-in-3rd-grade-lunch-and-then-saved-for-future-use terrible. For example:

You are the angel
Of all my dreams
And when you die
I'll be by your side

The album sounds pretty bright and loud, but unfortunately this cannot save the writing. Unlike the better female fronted gothic metal albums of the past few decades (most courtesy of Theatre of Tragedy), I simply hear no melody I want to replay. Dreams in Formaline is not the worst album I've heard lately, but it's nothing more than forgettable fodder that I'd expect to hear on the soundtrack to the latest shitty Underworld movie. While listening to this album, I kept thinking about the dialogue from a recent episode of South Park, which I will quote here in full:

Fellow students, over the past week, there's been a lot of confusion, and so we have asked this assembly to clarify the difference between goth kids and vampire kids. Let us make it abundantly clear. If you hate life, truly hate the sun and need to smoke and drink coffee, you are goth. If,
however, you like dressing in black because it's fun, enjoy putting sparkles on your cheeks and following into a cult while avoiding things that are bad for your health, then you are most likely a douchebag vampire wannabe boner. Because anyone who thinks they are actually a vampire is freaking retarded.

Digression is the sweetest distraction. Alas, if you think Evanescence and Lacuna Coil are great musical artists, then Omega Lithium will blow your fucking mind. If you actually have taste, avoid this like Hot Topic.

Verdict: Fail [3/10]

No comments: