Abigail - Descending from a Blackend Sky EP (1993)

There will come a day when the nuclear rain will descend from the blackend sky, and all Hell will break loose as the feeble liberal government loses control of the riotous masses, who will force disorder on the streets of our bombed out capitals and decaying infrastructure. The meek and the cowardly will be slaughtered as they beg for scraps of food, and the strong will use whatever skills and weapons are available to them to survive. Spiked bats, cut off leather gloves, brass knuckles, rusted muscle cars with big engines, mutants, Satan, prostitutes, football uniforms as armor, whiskey, cocaine just to get through the day, cockroaches, succubi, land mines, cultists, laced marijuana, syringes, psycho killers whipping chains about from the backs of motorbikes, cardinals and popes wielding sidearms, the return of the mother fucking cowboy.

What does any of this have to do with Abigail? Well, I decree that Abigail shall be the soundtrack for such a glorious future, as we throw all other musical recordings (except Metalucifer and maybe Roy Orbison) onto the slag heaps as a sacrifice to our survival. All you need is Yasuyuki Suzuki, a double barreled shotgun and some ammo, and an old vintage booby rag or sexy set of playing cards for your back pocket and you have all the non-injected, non-inhaled, and non-drunken tools for survival. What will be first in my playlist? Well, it's highly likely I will start at the top, with Abigail's debut EP Descending from a Blackend Sky, 16 minutes of the most hilarious evil in my entire collection.

Oddly, this is not the same Abigail you will be accustomed to if your experience includes only the band's legendary street metal pimping aka Sweet Baby Metal Slut or Forever Street Metal Bitch. No, this is more in line with the diabolical black metal of the band's roots, a ghastly communion of Bathory, Celtic Frost and Mayhem with only a trace of the band's filth thrash metal revival peeking through the pecker-pole. It's entirely heinous and primitive and god damn if it isn't one of the best things I've heard in my life. This is largely the work of Yasuyuki Suzuki, spewing caustic lines over the din of raging, rugged blast beats and riffs that could behead French nobility without even drawing the rope.

The chaos ensues with "Swing Your Hammer", which despite the clearly metal title, is a resonant ambient track of swelling synthesizer cheese that would barely be worthy of some cheap George Romero knockoff zombie horror film in the 80s that took itself far too seriously. And despite the absurdity, I absolutely love it! "The Lord of Satan" then flies in on his pitchfork to remind you that this is Abigail, and you'd only escaped an asskicking for a moment while your punishment was being discussed by those below. Grinding riffs, with only the barest trace of melody and a total primal heavy metal overtone. Thick, pumping bass that sounds like a marching band of chainsaw wielding mutants. Some of the most wretched snarling this side of countrymen Sabbat. Queue "Mephistopheles", which rocks with about an impressive array of riffing as a coked up, punker washout, the most generic riff in history. And yet, the rough shod atmosphere allows it to succeed despite itself, with fantastic lyrical fortitude!

There is not border in hell
We are going to found in hell
Confusion of people and fallen in hell
Exceed of Satan, marvelous evil!

"Descending from a Blackend Sky" is another synthesizer trip, this time even more amazing than "Swing Your Hammer", with a very Metroid-esque, slowed arpeggio sequence that is joined by several layered backing lines and some electronic percussion. What this is doing on an Abigail release I have no fucking idea, but the thought that Yasuyuki Suzuki might have the synth chops to rival Tangerine Dream is rather impressive, if this is actually him. But where this would normally be an outro for a release like this, it is followed by the barbaric "Count Barbatos", a searing yet refreshing hellish wind that blasts across your brow as you are sent hurling through the exit to the war theater. Again, exceedingly simplistic, and breaks into a very doom-like pace later in the track which later cycles back to a blast.

A killer, fundamental atmosphere and an inescapable charm make this one of the best of the early Abigail catalog, even if it doesn't possess the same level of hilarity as the band's future records. Some might denounce it on principle, as you could probably teach monkeys or rabbits to play this music with a few bananas or carrots and a week's worth of patience. But to quote an Australian comedian, 'Harden the fuck up!' The air sirens are screaming and the bombs are about to drop. What better to arm yourself with? What ungodly noise have the Japanese wrought upon us this time?

The masters have arrived.

Verdict: Epic Win [10/10] (you're my pride in hell)