Scheitan - Nemesis (1999)

The biggest shocker is that Scheitan, based on the dominant style of Nemesis, seemed to have been signed to Century Media based on the 'black & roll' style they showcased on the first half of their sophomore album Berzerk 2000. You'd think the talent scout would have been a lot more interested in the black metal of the debut, but here we are on a much larger label, with a lot more exposure, playing the accessible rock music but with the same snarling vocals. Fortunately, Nemesis is a bit better developed and more committed to this style than its predecessor. The production is a slight step up and for the most part, the arrangements of the rock riffs are better, the bass playing is more noticeable, and his vocals just work better with the material than they did the last time out.

This is basically a mid-point between such 'black & roll' and just standard, simplistic Gothic metal with snarls instead of deep, manly vocals. They still implement a lot of guest female vocals, probably even more than before, but they still sound awkward and lacking confidence to add an effective dimension of the ethereal or melodic to the tracks. Also, the band gets a little too cocky with dumb ideas like repeating "Emergency" over and over at the end of that track, a dick move that doesn't benefit in any way. A number of the tunes here sound a lot like Kreator's lamented Endorama, only the Germans could dial up their history and add a lot more gravitas to their compositions. There's also a vibe of some Sisters of Mercy, only with the rasping vocals slathered over the top and much heavier guitars punched in. The Cemetery side project Sundown is also a worthwhile comparison, only that project was vastly more catchy and utilized more of an industrial/electronic side.

If you condensed this down to 3-4 of the better tunes, it would be passable for the style, since I do dig the production and it's just catchy enough to warrant a few spins. Unfortunately, on the whole this album is just not much better than its predecessor...at least it's not split between the rock style and the lesser produced black metal which was a pretty big mistake on Berzerk 2000, but despite its slick sound and accessible energy, they just aren't churning out the memorable chorus parts and melodies that would be needed for this to put them on the same level as a number of other European Goth metal acts. So when it comes to my personal interest, Scheitan is a one-and-done, Travelling in Ancient Lands is the go-to and the rest are just shy of a disaster.

Verdict: Indifference [5.5/10]

Ghost - Prequelle (2018)

Prequelle did not woo me quite as mightily as its predecessor, but over the year of 2018 it did grow on me to a point that I listened to it in regular rotation (ergo, the stuff I'm constantly spinning that is not queued for reviews). Part of this is probably that of all the full length Ghost releases, this one shows the least amount of growth or change from the last, a trait I had really come to expect from them; but nah, this is largely Meliora Part II. That's not necessarily a bad thing, since there are plenty of small details here which strike out on their own, and there's no problem with a band dwelling in its comfort zone for spell...hell, there are major metal bands that, in retrospect, I wish had spent MORE time in their comfort zones, rather than teetering off into an oblivion of mediocrity, or trying to keep scoring with the times and instead getting dunked on.

The "Rats" single was the first I heard of this, like anyone else, it was a fun tune, lot of energy, like a livelier "Square Hammer", and I really dug how they refrain that evil melody at the end from the instrumental on the previous album (it's also used in Prequelle's choral intro "Ashes"). I think it was also a pretty good choice to front-load the more metallic material here, letting us know that Tobias still considers it an important component of their sound, before they traipse off into the more varied territory. "Faith" is probably the hardest tune on the album, which surprisingly drew some parallels to Chastain of all things, with that neo-classical shred line reminding me of David's playing, and the verse groove highly reminiscent of some of the stuff on For Those Who Dare. Coincidental, most likely, but I found that amusing, and the song pretty kickass with a great groove to it and a really awesome, memorable chorus, once again using their trademark organs to supplement a killer vocal hook. If you've got a version containing it, they also do a heavy cover of the Pet Shop Boys' "It's a Sin", a natural fit to the Ghost style, although I thought the Gamma Ray cover off Power Plant was a far cooler, more metallic transformation of the pop gem.

Not to take away from the mellower material here, because a lot of it is quite catchy, like the folksy piano-driven ballad "Pro Memoria", which picks up quite nicely even though a couple of Forge's vocal lines sound a little goofy in the bridge. "Witch Image" is a nice, driving rock track that I'm surprised didn't turn into a radio single, although the dramatic butt-rocker "Dance Macabre" accomplished exactly that. "Miasma" is another standout, a steady, proggy instrumental that is satisfying throughout its escalation, leads, and tons of ear-worm synthesizer lines. It's not the only instrumental present, but the calmer "Helvetesfönster" didn't impact me quite as much, despite the nice Medieval melodies buried in there. And that's rather an interesting decision, to have about 11 minutes of the album, a full quarter of its playtime (excluding covers) devoted to instrumental journeys, which are mostly successful. Perhaps Tobias could score a film, is all I'm saying, I can certainly imagine some lush, 80s-like young adult fantasy with this sort of music all over it.

There's another cover of Leonard Cohen's "Avalanche" on the deluxe edition, but as well produced as it is, I just didn't enjoy Tobias' rambling vocal style over it, he seems a little weak when he's in that mid-range, spoken word inflection, and the ascending power of the instruments in this one could have used a little more brawn over it. Other than this and a few of the other, slightly less impressive tracks, there are few complaints to be had. The production is excellent, and I'd argue even more dynamic than on Meliora. The lyrics are still pretty good, even if they're not quite as emotionally relevant to me as they were on the prior album. There some cool guest spots nestled in here, like the esteemed Steve Moore on synthesizer, or Mikael from Opeth contributing some acoustics. The Cardinal Copia persona, which I envision to be more of a laid back Papa Emeritus, is fun...let's say Papa Emeritus if he was guest starring on Three's Company. Papa Emeritus if he watched women's prison exploitation flicks while smoking fat cigars. Papa Emeritus if he could tear up a disco floor, which he basically does, only in a city street with a lot of carnage strewn about him. And Zbigniew Bielak's cover art, despite clearly being referenced from a certain old Sepultura record, is just awesome looking. Prequelle's another win to me.

Verdict: Win [8.25/10] (what you've sold you cannot unsell)

http://ghost-official.com/

Ghost - Meliora (2015)

Meliora was the Ghost album I most immediately glomped on to, from the initial release of the "Cirice" single and it's entertaining, strangely alluring video, the ensuing teaser singles ("From the Pinnacle to the Pit" and "Majesty"), onto the full release in August of 2015. I loved just about everything I was hearing, and with a few minor nitpicks, this remains my favorite of their catalog. Granted, I rate this one and the debut about the same score-wise, but the level of stylistic flexibility and the insane level of catchiness here push it just a fraction of a fraction beyond Opus Eponymous. This stands the point where the band's pop, retro, metal and occult ingredients were held in a near perfect balance, and for me the full proof of the band's concept, a bevy of memorable riffs, lyrics, and vocal lines that were all a match for the band's theatrical, sacrilegious live celebrations.

I won't go into detail on every single track, but it features one of the best 1-2-3 punch combos for opening songs that I've got in my entire music collection. The rousing "Spirit" with its eerie and endearing synth-lines, building through a steady driving verse into its epic chorus, a glorious hymnal dowsed in proggy keyboards and choirs. The groovy "From the Pinnacle to the Pit" with its fat, throbbing bass lines, creepy guitar harmonies, and excellent drumming that shifts around until this one too hits a monumental chorus. "Cirice", with those morbid acoustics that lead into one of the best doomy rhythm licks I've heard in my entire life, and some of my favorite lyrics in their discography. Each of these tracks scores on every level, from the strength of the riffing, the ebb and flow of Papa's gracious vocal chords, to the slight bits of nuance like timpanis crashing or smooth, simple leads. The minute-long string instrumental "Spöksonat" is a wee bit useless, but at the very least it sets up the closing segment to their future single "Rats" off the following full-length Prequelle. And right after that you're getting "He Is", the band's ultimate, beautiful mockery of some soaring Christian arena rock power ballad, you can just see the lighters flicking on out in the crowd, but the crucifixes being inverted as they're raised towards the stage.

The only songs that I really wasn't in love with were these small instrumentals, although the organ heavy prog rock piece "Devil Church" is a little better than "Spöksonat". For a while I also wasn't into the vocals for "Mummy Dust". Musically it's wonderful, but I just felt like some of the whispers, mutters and lyric lines felt corny. Eventually I got over that, especially because I love the riffs, solos and synthesizers throughout the tune. Similar, the closer, "Deus in Absentia", while solid, isn't quite on the same level of quality as the other six tunes. Otherwise, Meliora is phenomenal, it's such a fun and meaningful album despite any of its silly eccentricities. The production is polished but potent for the market the band was playing to, since by this time the guys were already circulating on the radio and internet a lot more than you would have thought. Every note, every beat mixed exactly as they needed to be, and yet, despite the accessibility of the record, I never found it mindless, cheap or shallow in anyway. Although the lyrics are set up as your normal verse/chorus refrains like in any pop or rock song, they manage to craft these hypnotic lines that mean a lot in context, like 'I can feel the thunder that is breaking in your heart/I can see through the scars inside you', or 'All those things that you desire/You will find here in the fire'.

For what a clean cut, friendly guy Tobias seems to be, he certainly has his sinister side! And we're all the richer for it. Now I know that Ghost has developed into a rather contentious band, and sure enough they bring out a lot of mainstream music influences from the 60s, 70s or 80s that might not be all that exciting for those who were more into the Mercyful Oyster Cult influences, or just for folks who don't want any sort of pop taint or accessibility within their music. I can understand it. What's the big deal, right? Well as someone who has always enjoyed occult rock, pop, prog rock, and heavy metal, I just really appreciate how these Swedes transmute them into a consistent style, which can maintain all the constituent variability of these genres and still come off sounding like a single band. I also don't mind having the occasional band most of the 'squares' in my life can hear in my car and get into; they don't always take well to my Icelandic black metal or cavern core addictions. And maybe it's a superficial thing, but I also love the subversion of such catchy and occasionally 'friendly' metal carrying its Luciferian undertones, a philosophical inversion of pop music and poppier religion. I mean, only Odin is real, but the Devil can be a hell of a lot of fun.

Version: Epic Win [9/10] (Anti saint wormwood catapulting your mind)

http://ghost-official.com/

Ghost - Popestar EP (2016)

Popestar is anchored by "Square Hammer", the band's most popular non-album track and one of their most popular in general. Apart from the fact that the tune's central riff/melody reminds me a hell of a lot of a heavy metal version of "Message in a Bottle" by The Police, it's a pretty good tune that escalates into a satisfying chorus. About half the Ghost fans I know out in meatspace actually got into the band through this song initially, so there's obviously something to it, although I wouldn't consider it among their top tracks. I did dig the noir horror-like video that went along with it almost as much as the music itself. Fortunately, like If You Have Ghost, this is an EP primarily built from cover tunes, an area Tobias is decently strong with, and like that release, they've made some interesting choices here.

They handle Echo & the Bunnymen's "Nocturnal Me" rather loyally, keeping the similar, solemn textures but inserting a few doomier guitar lines in there to personalize it more towards their own material of the Meliora era. I especially like the ending with the busy drums and the mildly heavier prog atmosphere. The other cover I was familiar with is "Missionary Man" from the Eurythmics, which once again gets a heavier jump start due to the presence of the guitars. Musically I was on board with this, it works well with those chords churning it along, but I felt Papa's vocal here was far too nasally and distracting, especially as he is delivering it in a rather monotonous tone. Not that it's terribly distant from the original, but Tobias Forge is no Annie Lennox, as I'm sure he is aware, and we'll leave it at that. As to the other two tracks, I was unaware of the originals and so I had to go back and listen through them online just to make some comparisons. "Bible" by Swedish 80s rockers Imperiet is played quite close to the original, vocal harmonies and all, and in "I Believe", Ghost takes an English electro-pop cut from the 90s and reduces it to a more purely ambient piece with the shimmering synthesizers and Forge's voice leading it along...

That was a pretty interesting adaptation, but having now heard the original I was kind of missing all the little bleeps and beats that carried the dance version, which was basically a British New Wave track done a decade late, but hey at least it was an introduction for me. Overall, I think the choices here are pretty curious but not always as triumphant as I would have liked. "Square Hammer", itself arguably a half-cover of another famous track, is the main reason to return to this one. David Brinley's artwork is nice, architectural, imperious looking, which sits nicely aside his cover for the Ceremony and Devotion live album and Zbigniew Bielak's cover for Meliora. All the material, original or covered, is produced with a pretty safe poppy mix that emphasizes what it needs to. I'm sure this is sitting in most of the Ghost audience's collection already, but if you haven't already got it, try and grab the 2CD version of Meliora which features this is as the 2nd disc and possibly save yourself a couple bucks. On its own, the value is debatable.

Verdict: Indifference [6/10]

http://ghost-official.com/

Ghost - Seven Inches of Satanic Panic EP (2019)

Ghost has proven to be such an ever-evolving species of band drawing upon multiple eras of heavy metal, hard rock, prog rock and psychedelia that you can never quite predict where Tobias Forge is headed next. Once I saw the gaudily bright colors that would provide the cover for Seven Inches of Satanic Panic, a limited edition, wait for it...7" record, I kind of figured he'd be taking us back on a tour of the 60s, or rather the 60s as filtered through Cardinal Copia's imagination. True enough, that seems the primary influence to these tracks, though he's definitely trying to keep them consistent with some of the other Ghost material off the latest two full-length albums, so the differences are superficial at best.

"Kiss the Go-Goat" is a slab of 1968 hard rock circa Iron Butterfly or Steppenwolf, with a stock, predictable, main riff drizzling acidic little leads and organs. Forge's vocals tether it directly to the Ghost canon, but there are a few differences like the mildly fuzzier rhythm guitar tone and so forth that I wouldn't mind hearing an entire album based around. The chorus and bridge definitely feel like other songs you've heard by the Swedes, and overall I was left slightly wanting for some catchier nuances here...for all its experimentation at dialing back yet another decade, this one doesn't have a lot to stand on. "Mary on a Cross" is more somber and atmospheric, and strangely enough captures the nostalgia of the intended era more successfully, even though it's driven by a standard hard rock undercurrent like a "Dance Macabre", which is similar. But it's the vocal harmonies and the way the organs are implemented that sell it, and I like the little break where the beat disappears after 2:30 where it makes you feel like Tobias is crooning at a high school dance 50 years ago, before the rest picks right back up.

The production is pretty good, that's never really an issue on Ghost studio recordings, but I think the two tunes here are among the least impactful of their career the last few years. I don't mind them, but it's easy to understand why they'd be better placed on a novelty item like this EP rather than on a full length where the stakes are higher. Who knows, though, perhaps Forge was thinking of heading even further back in time, channeling earlier chronological influences, and wanted to send this thing out as a crowd test to gauge the reaction. To that extent, at least to me, I would consider it a success, as I think an entire album of better written tunes in this style might be fun...like a Strawberry Alarm Clock meets Ghost effort. But as far as its inherent value, I don't think I'd be including either of these on a playlist of my Forge favorites...most of the material on Meliora and Prequelle sticks with me more than either of these, although they were innocuous enough ear candy for a couple spins.

Verdict: Indifference [6.25/10]

http://ghost-official.com/

Ghost - Ceremony and Devotion (2017)

As slick and polished as Ghost comes off on its studio recordings, the band was pretty much built from the ground up to excel in the live setting. The costumes, the characterizations, the set pieces, and the sheer accessibility of their material lends itself well to the good old sing-along, and lyrically and emotionally they touch upon a number of cornerstones of individualism and rebellion that will appeal to both younger and older audiences both, the former smack dab in the middle of that time of their lives when it all matters so much, and the latter because they remember when it did for them. Theatrically, if not musically, they've got a lot more to bring to a gig than your average quartet of guys in black clothing, not that there is anything wrong with a quartet of guys in black clothing, most of the best shows I've ever SEEN are 4-5 dudes in jeans and black t-shirts, but it's nice that we've got some acts out there who take it a little further over the top and justify those ticket prices. I mean I'm right by your side watching the local death metal bands, but I like to check out some fuckin' KISS, King Diamond and Alice Cooper too.

Now, naturally, an audio live album isn't going to be able to convey that whole experience, and that's one of the obstacles Ceremony and Devotion faces. You're getting some cool new cover art, some photos, a list of tour dates, and a pretty well-recorded physical proxy for attending and listening to them perform. You're not getting a single, complete performance accompanied by a DVD or Blu Ray of that gig, which I think would have been a far superior product for the fans, especially those who haven't gotten to attend one of their tourdates. This is material pulled from several different dates, curated to provide clear, consistent sound quality and crowd buzz and prove that they can largely emulate their studio offerings, which they more or less do throughout this selection. 15 songs, the vast majority of which I enjoy, the only exceptions being a couple like "Per Aspera ad Inferi" or "Body and Blood", but even those sound fluent enough in the live setting. The material is drawn fairly evenly from Opus Anonymous, Infestissuman, Meliora, and "Square Hammer" from the Popestar is the opener, so a lot of my favorites like "Con Clavi con Dio", "Cirice", "He Is", "Year Zero', "Monstrance Clock", "Absolution", and "Ritual" are present and accounted for. No complaints there.

The songs do lose a bit of power on this recording as compared to their studio counterparts, by which I mean the band is so devoted to playing so cleanly that I got a more sterile reaction when listening to these versions. I wouldn't have minded some more flaws and imperfections if they had a slightly dirtier live mix, or changed the material up a little more to give the audience something more novel. The guitars here sound a little constrained, although they pull off all the parts well enough. I think as the tunes move more towards a climax, as in the chorus to "Year Zero" when they've got the choirs, the band firing away, the bells, and so forth, it does come together rather nicely, but there are some points where certain instruments seem subdued, or Papa's voice, while crystal clear, just doesn't carry the same effectiveness you'd expect. In fact he sounds a little too dweeby in some parts with the cleans, but where he might spit out a lower, growled tone it's more potent. That said, this is what's going to happen when you're curating tunes from separate gigs rather than just delivering all the sincerity and bluster of a single performance (although I've read somewhere that many of these were taken from the same show).

Ceremony and Devotion is professional, unquestionably, and most of my complaints here are rather minor since the audience sounds like its having a good time, and the band clearly puts a lot of effort into the performances. However, this isn't one that I'm going to be taking off the shelf to experience in place of their studio offerings. It's not a case like Live Without Sense or Live After Death where I want to specifically listen to that recording, even though I think most of the set list is fantastic and it's a decent overall product in terms of packaging and audio quality. Had it come with a DVD to match, I'd probably give this a boost, it really could use one, but as it stands I think it's just decent enough to give a passing grade.

Verdict: Win [7/10] 

http://ghost-official.com/

Ghost - Dance Macabre (2018)

Here's another digital Ghost single which was of interest to me because it featured an electronic artist I enjoy doing a number on one of Prequelle's singles, "Dance Macabre". Like a lot of that album, I do like the original song, I remember it standing out as semi-unusual in that it felt almost like a hybrid of disco and 80s butt rock, the sort of song you might expect more from Speed Strid and his Night Flight Orchestra than Tobias Forge. It manages to pull of an extremely familiar feel to all of us that survived the 80s, and lyrics that don't exactly live up to some of the Swedes' other work, but nonetheless it was catchy as hell and I listened to it a few dozen times despite the goofy video that went along with it, which can be forgiven since about 99% of all music videos are rubbish.

I'm going out on a limb here to say that I actually dig the Carpenter Brut remix of the song just as much if not more than the original. This is the Frenchman responsible for "Turbo Killer", setting beats for and starring in one of the remaining 1% of music videos that actually fucking rules. While his augmentation of the Ghost tune isn't quite as dramatic or extreme as some of his own tunes, I like the throbbing roller skate-ready synths he mixes for the bass line in the verse, as well as the more exaggerated, very retro radio synthesizer pads, and the reverb he throws onto the vocals. I have quite a lot of fun listening to this, even the slightly more atmospherically enhanced chorus with a couple of slightly acidic tones on top. The synth solo just about matches the guitar solo in coolness, and it's just a well done adaptation which knows what its about and doesn't need to force the envelope too far.

Now, as an overall value, this single isn't much. It's just that remix, plus the album cut, which is not necessary since you could compare it to the one on Prequelle. So it's a fairly useless release that just happens to feature a remix every bit as enjoyable as the one Health provided for "He Is" on that tune's expanded digital single. Perhaps Carpenter would be a trendy pick, but the fact is that he handles this material with respect, injecting just a fraction of his own persona while letting the original structure of the song thrive, and you couldn't ask for much more. It's not much of a product but if you like both of the artists then certainly listen to it online.

Verdict: Indifference [5/10]

http://ghost-official.com/

Ghost - He Is (2017)

As one of my favorite tracks off the Meliora record, and by Ghost in general, I was pretty curious to explore this digital maxi-single which features four different versions (thankfully excluding a repeat of the original album mix). "He Is" plays like a perfect mockery on some Christian arena rock power ballad, gone from rich, glimmery acoustics to a potent, memorable chorus, electric leads and just an uplifting proof of concept for Tobias' Luciferian lyrical themes and the band's ability to weave classic rock styles onto a present day audience. That being said, the various alternate takes on this tune don't quite hold a candle to the studio one I was accustomed to, as is obvious by how well that one comes off live...

...on the very first track on the single. Possibly an error in judgement, since I think that could have been shoved off to the close of track list, but since this is just distributed digitally it's not like a lot of listeners are going to have any loyalty to a perceived ordering of its presentation. Yes, the live cut recorded in San Francisco is quite good, with the guitars and vocals up loud and front, sounding awesome, proof that Forge can largely pull this all off in the moment. Most of the instruments sound close to studio perfect, the climactic chorus retains its power and the audience roar is kept strictly to the backdrop, almost as if it were sampled in there where tolerable. The second cut here is a more directly acoustic piece, without the electric swells, and featuring Allison Mosshart of The Dead Weather and The Kills. Her style is definitely a little more grainy and emotional in her voice, but I found she was a little overpowered by Tobias once they were singing in duet, and although this plays more like a 90s alt-rock version of the tune it didn't hold a candle to the album cut.

After that, the selections become a lot more interesting...the "HEALTH remix" is a pulsing, rave version which lowers the pitch on the vocals and then becomes a rather mid-paced, atmospheric ambient piece that would be perfect to listen to through a sunrise. Aside from a few throbbing, sparse beats, this one never just goes outright techno, and while I was expecting it to, I was surprised that I preferred it just to stick with this rich, ambient texture with the more ominous vocals. The final version presented here, the "Haxan Cloak Remix" is a far more industrialized version with some more abrasive, noisy electronic sounds after a more ambient intro. I loved this one at first, thinking it was just the whole track being minimalized into these strings, keys and other ambient tones, a gorgeous reduction, but I was a little less interested when they were throwing the subdued vocal samples back in under the ear-rupturing, dirty synth explosions later on. Still, it's good for a few minutes.

Overall, it was curious to hear the different approaches in contrast with one another, but only the "HEALTH Remix" with its L.A. rave inducing-euphoria is one that I'll find myself running back to. The others are pleasant, especially the opening sections of the last remix, but there's never a need for me to listen to them over the album version. I think it was pretty wise to leave this sort of thing as a digital download for the diehards, and it's harmless enough, but mostly just an oddity with one real positive. The live track sounds great but you can also just hear that over on Ceremony and Devotion, a full live album that I'll cover soon.

Verdict: Indifference [5.5/10]

http://ghost-official.com/

Ghost - If You Have Ghost EP (2013)

The strength of the If You Have Ghost EP, or Ghost's choice in cover songs in general throughout the band's career, is that they take them and make them their own, instantly broadening the pool of material they can pull on for their set lists. Granted, some of the songs might be kept closer to the belt of their originators, and others given a little bit more of a metallic injection, but for any flaw I might pick out in the band's career, the cover songs that they occasionally bless us with would never be one of them. And this is exactly that, a short-player with four tracks you might not expect but lend themselves very naturally to the band's influences in everything from progressive and psychedelic rock to disco.

"If You Have Ghosts" is a very accessible, sweeping, uplifting sort of rock cut that works well in their hands, or alongside the other tracks they've written themselves which give off a mock Christian arena rock vibe, such as "He Is" on Meliora. I've addressed the ABBA cover "I'm a Marionette" on the review of the Infestissumam full-length, but if you don't own the Deluxe version of that then it's a treat to have it here among its neighbors. I'll reiterate that Ghost could cover almost any single tune in that band's history and it would probably work, the groups, despite their genre differences, share that unbridled sense of ear-pleasing pop quality. I was not as familiar with the original "Crucified" or the band Army of Lovers, but this one definitely recurs that hymnal concept that the band really likes to play on with its blasphemous Luciferian theatrics. It's a little goofy when he gets to the more spoken word bit in the bridge, but it's certainly an aesthetically fit for the Papa Emeritus II persona Tobias was using to front the band at this time.

The cover I was most looking forward to, Depeche Mode's "Waiting for the Night", is given a more doomed, melancholic edge than it already possessed, with a pungent fuzz to the guitars, and little organs that glimmer through almost too cheerfully from the somber weight of the tune. Still pretty cool, but I see why they kept it tucked behind the others. There's also a live offering of "Secular Haze" to round out the material, which sounds good in that setting, but just isn't one I find myself revisiting often, much like its studio counterpart. The production on the covers is quite good, I'd say even a little better than the Infestissumam material, with the guitars balanced better against all the vocals, organs, percussion, and bass lines. The EP is a decent value if you're a fan of the band, I might have preferred a full-length of covers without the live tune interfering but this thing is usually sold for only a couple bucks, and if you don't have the tunes elsewhere it's worth a pickup if not some towering success of a product.

Verdict: Win [7/10]

http://ghost-official.com/

Ghost - Infestissumam (2013)

Opus Eponymous was an album that I found immediately distinct, enjoyable on the first listen, and it only got BETTER from there, so I was a paid passenger on the hype train around Ghost as it climbed the steep track towards international recognition. Naturally, there were some major expectations for its followup, and perhaps those were premature on such a novel act, as Infestissumam came along and hadn't a fraction of the same impact on me as its predecessor. I wouldn't say that I've ever 'struggled' with this sophomore, it's a pleasant enough progression of the concepts they had already laid out before us, but with the exception of a handful of tracks, I didn't find the material here so indispensable, and even on many repeated listens this remains my least favorite of the Swedes' full-lengths. Now, having said that, this one has continued to grow on me in the intervening years such that I still keep it on a semi-regular rotation, especially four particular songs and the second bonus track.

It's instantly clear that Tobias and company were attempting to ramp up the theatrics of their stage personas through the studio component, evident through the fact that the album sounds like you're sitting in a mock Church, complete with bloodstained glass and Luciferian hymnals, surrounding by a carnival on all sides. The organs and other trappings beyond the standard metal instrumentation are whimsical and subtly sinister. There's a wide array of rhythmic exploration which feels light and airy, like a troupe of inverted Christian hippies traipsing down a hillside tossing beach balls to and fro. I would assert that Infestissumam was the band's most progressive offering, covering more new ground than any of its successors (to date), even if it wasn't able to form that into the catchiest of individual tracks. That's not to say you won't hear ear candy-larva burrowing through the DNA of a lot of the songs, but to me the smoothness of how the production locks it all together lacks a little of the power and menace I felt from the debut. The overt influence of your favorite Danish metal royalty and escapist New York hard rock of the 70s and 80s is still present, but a wider net has been cast.

It's eccentricity and all-over-the-place-ness is a positive. For instance, the album doesn't really lose any points from me for shifting between the safe psychedelic pasture-rock and the haunted house rockabilly of "Ghuleh/Zombie Queen", one of my personal favorites here. "Year Zero" is an undeniable strong point with its creepy verse vocals and development towards its sweeping operatic chorus. "Depths of Satan's Eyes" sounds like a track cultivated from Opus Eponymous' outtakes, and the closer of the album proper, "Monstrance Clock" is another highlight with its oozing synth lines, eerie organ breaks, and another of Tobias' wonderful vocal performances. I mean there's a good EP's worth of kickass material that rivals anything else the band has released. To boot, the bonus tunes on the Deluxe edition are quite good, especially the cover of ABBA's "I'm a Marionette". I mean mock the source all you want, their catalog is just perfectly fertile ground for a group like Ghost to come along and transform into their own designs, and this song does it wonderfully. I would probably purchase an entire album of ABBA covers by this group.

I think where this one sinks for me is that it front-loads some of its weaker tracks. "Per Aspera Ad Inferi" has a few high points but doesn't quite deliver on its initial promise, and "Secular Haze", one of the most popular tunes here with its circus-like march, falls short of its potential. "Jigolo Har Migiddo" is fun enough, but doesn't really tickle me until the bridge. The guitars here, while active and occasionally inventive, seem to take a back seat to the vocal production and synthesizers, not to mention the bass which sometimes seems to overpower them. I felt as if the debut was more directly driven by the riffs, whereas here they only occasionally poke out, but when they do, as in the kickoff to "Zombie Queen", they're great. Tobias' vocal production here is quite involved, with a lot of harmonies, but again some of the melodies just don't hit the catchiest patterns and seem to play it a little too obvious rather than hitting you with some unexpected, unforgettable note progression.

Elsewhere, the aesthetics are quite nice. The song titles interesting, the Satanic lyrics hold up through a number of readings, and the artwork a nice continuation from the debut. The flimsy Universal digisleeve edition of the CD sucks, and I recommend avoiding it and tracking down a Deluxe with those bonus tracks that actually add a good amount of value to Infestissumam on the whole. There is no question that this was an important transitional step for the Swedes. Sure, I might like Meliora a lot more, but without this I don't think Ghost would have necessarily gotten there. So for that, and the quartet of originals that really resonates with me, I do think this is an interesting album with enough qualities to recommend, and I'm not surprised that a lot of the band's fans see is as their personal favorite.

Verdict: Win [7.75/10]

http://ghost-official.com/

Mansion - First Death of the Lutheran (2018)

Mansion has its roots deep in Black Sabbath territory, but what it does with those roots, glazing them in a hypnotic cult psychedelia and phenomenal production values, is what makes the difference between a band like this and so many other wanna-bes vying for the throne of the doldrums. First Death of the Lutheran, the Finns' first proper full-length after a number of EPs and splits, is not about to win any awards from how it formulates its bare-boned excuses for doom metal riffs, but rather in just how well-made it is, structured to crescendo into claustrophobic fear with its killer vocalist and the unusual lyrical focus on Kartanoism, a Christian group formed nearly a century ago that was known for its young preachers, stark social dogmas and wild prayer sessions which involved a lot of freaking out, speaking in tongues, you know...the hardcore shit.

In fact, when played at just the right volume, this album mesmerized me into the sort of ritual trance it explores thematically, all with such simple formulae, almost like a contemporary counterpart to Coven's legendary Witchcraft Destroys Minds & Reaps Souls, even if the music is wrought from a darker cloth. Heavy guitars are used more or less as scarce drudges that lurch the momentum of the songs forward, while the bass smothers the undertow in huge grooves. Strings, organs, fuzzy little proto-electronic sounds and ambiance are slathered across the weight of that bass, and the tinny and lush, minimalist percussion that is often left to its own devices once the proper, tribal beats disappear. But the real star of the show is moody, ritualistic intonation of Alma. Simple lines, mid-ranged pitch, and often filtered with slight levels of effects to create that creepy, claustrophobic vibe I hinted at above, a sort of euphoric dread. The male vocals here are decent also, Gothic and downtrodden, especially on the cover of Joy Division's "The Eternal", which works surprisingly well amidst the original material, especially when Alma goes more ethereal.

The production is so perfect that you feel like you could hear a whisker drop amidst the sobering, psychedelic swell of the songwriting, and it would only add to the steady tension. The bass and guitars are perfect volume so as to complement the vocals and effects, and the whole purity of the thing feels like you're having it played for you live at some wooden, remote lodge where you won't normally her another sound for many miles around, apart from the writhing religious exultation. The lyrics are exceedingly simplistic, yet they're an aesthetic match for the primacy powering the music. After checking out a few of their earlier EPs, I wouldn't say the style has evolved all that much, it might rely a little less on riffs and more on the atmosphere surrounding them. At any rate, this is one I'll readily recommend to fans of Jex Thoth, Seremonia, Sabbath Assembly and Blood Ceremony.

Verdict: Win [8.25/10] (And know you've been mislead)

https://www.facebook.com/mansionalma

VCID - Jettatura (2018)

You might not see a metric ton of bands labeling themselves 'black n' roll' out there, but in truth the two mediums work well in tandem, and it's hardly a novel concept. A quick listen through first wavers like Hellhammer or Venom will reveal quite a few pure rock-ims; sure, they might be saturated in raw production that sounds alien to anyone looking for radio-friendly classic rock, but the simplicity and intent is laid bare. VCID is a French band which pretty much attempts to serve as a poster child for what that hybrid would sound like in 2018, and if you can set some expectation for that in advance you will find unfortunately find no surprises on their first full-length Jettatura. That's not to say this album is a bad one per se, because its clear production and thick guitars hold an estimable level of potency, but where even Satyricon were able to pull of a few evil, addictive grooves on their own 'black'n' roll' era records like Now, Diabolical and The Age of Nero, this one is all surface level, all straightforward and doesn't have much in the way of subtle tact or memorable riffing.

Jettatura is primarily mid-paced, driving rock-punk rhythms with a few slightly faster, dissonant chord patterns woven in and out for good measure. It shows a sort of parallel development to how crustier metal/hardcore bands of the D-generation write at moderate speeds, only with a brighter production level. Think Nails playing a Darkthrone cover, mitigating their anger a bit for a more bruising, cruising effect. It's not so sunny, rocky and punky as something like Turbonegro or  Kvelertak, but take that style and integrate some more mug-swilling, atmospheric and melodic disposition and you're in the right ballpark. In fact I'd say they sound most to me like the Danish band Horned Almighty, although I didn't enjoy this quite so much as that band's catalog which has a more cruel, abusive streak to it. The riffs here are just slightly north of 'stock', occasionally dressed up with a jangly little minor note fill so it's not just all meaty chords, or some occasionally chugging which will break off into a faster tremolo picked sequence.

A lot relies on the vocalist 'C' (they all use initials here), who has this very level, consistent and nasty rasp which is capable of some sustain to match up with the general mid speed of the instruments. C sounds loud and central to the mix, and about as professional as you're going to get, but at times I also though the vox were a bit too obvious and overbearing, without the little flaws and personality quirks that would make them stand out. Essentially it's a rock solid delivery over a rock solid base, with the drums and bass and rhythm guitars all adequate for a style of black metal that is the very opposite of flash. I think they do a fairly decent job of balancing out their two 'sides', but the issue I had for much of this was just that the black metal riffs are never evil enough, nor haunting, even when they clearly try to be. Some more experimentation, higher pitched guitars, perhaps some more unpredictable rhythm guitar patterns could really turn this around because VOID clearly knows how to achieve a high level studio sound. The album packaging looks cool, and they also have a really cool lyrical style which seems to flow like beat poetry when you read them outside of the music.

A lot of potential here, I just wish the band would go further out into the unknown. I think in the end, if you're really into that early Darkthrone black metal style but want it cleaned up a bit, Jettatura would hardly be a waste of your time, but the whole experience felt a little too stable and samey for what I'm looking for in this particular niche.

Verdict: Indifference [6.75/10]

https://www.facebook.com/WEHAILTHEVOID/

Alice in Chains - Jar of Flies EP (1993)

Alice in Chain's second EP, Jar of Flies, is an enigma in my personal hierarchy of the band's discography, in that while it is far from their heaviest work, it is unquestionably my favourite. There are a myriad of personal reasons that inform this declaration (young-adult angst, mostly); but its an impeccable album in its own regard, with brilliant songwriting (almost) all the way through. There's something remarkably pure about this album, possibly thanks to the circumstances of its recordings (the band supposedly wrote and recorded the entire EP in a week, while living in the studio after being evicted from their shared apartment after the Dirt tour). 

Much like Sap, the songs feel more personal here; less about the wallowing in the mud and more about wondering where you are, and where life's taking you. To a young nineteen-year-old who was going through the aforementioned angst (not looking for sympathy, honest), a lot of this album rang true on a few levels. The stripped-down arrangements, dominated by acoustic guitars, evoke a more reflective side of a band that seemed to have a lot to reflect on, not the least of which being newfound critical acclaim after the release of Dirt. 

The band isn't afraid to experiment beyond the acoustic arrangements here, either. "Rotten Apple" showcases one of guitarist Jerry Cantrell's best solos, played through a talk-box; "I Stay Away" and "Whale & Wasp" both feature strings, with the latter having the honour of being the band's only instrumental piece. All the songs here are unique and manage to differentiate themselves in bold ways, which is all the more remarkable with the EP being - for all intents and purposes - an impromptu jam session. The level of craft on display here is incredible, and its made even more so when considering it was done such a short time. The fact that something so beautiful and completely integral to a band's ouevre as a song like "Nutshell" appears here is astounding. 

"No Excuses" is arguably the centrepiece of the EP's concentrated genius. All four members are at their A-game here, with an incredible rhythm section consisting of Sean Kinney and Mike Inez (replacing the late Mike Starr on bass) supporting Cantrell and late vocalist's Layne Staley's impeccable harmonies. Once again, the guitar is nothing to scoff at, with Cantrell's playing absolutely shimmering during the verse, all building to an incredibly memorable solo. The song is more upbeat than AiC has ever sounded before and since then, a stark contrast with the remainder of the disc yet never feeling out of place.

The same can't be said about my only real slight against the album, that being the final track, "Swing On This". A bluesy track ushered in with a walking bass line, there's nothing inherently bad about it. In fact, its just the kind of off-kilter track, with a chorus that reminds me a bit of Dirt's "Hate to Feel", that really characterized some of AiC's deeper cuts. That said, I feel like it doesn't flow very organically from the rest of the album. The first six songs form such a cohesive picture that "Swing On This" comes off as jarring. Some will certainly disagree, but for myself, its the only reason why I would refrain from calling Jar of Flies perfect. 

Last song woes aside, however, Jar of Flies remains an introspective, honest, and unpretentious work from a band that had worldwide acclaim at its fingertips. To take the time away from superstardom and and bare it all on a work so genuine is nothing short of remarkable, and I recommend everyone give it a listen. No excuses.

Verdict: Epic Win [9.5/10] (Take me home)

http://aliceinchains.com

Lönndom - Till Trevaren EP (2012)

The Lönndom sophomore Viddernas tolv kapitel was a definite example of 'what you see, what you get'. The natural landscapes photographed for the booklet, the two acoustic guitars at rest against a tree trunk; the idea of self-evaluation and realization through solitude in the wilderness that birthed our civilization providing the deeper level needed to provide an emotional resonance within the listener. A work of pure, overcast folk music with an appeal for those who could listen past its very basic aesthetics to the heart of its existence. Of course, as the members have repeatedly stated, this is not a project restricted by the boundaries of any one genre, and so it comes as no surprise that this latest EP, Till Trevaren, takes yet another spin in direction.

The acoustic guitars and numbing, deep vocals are still central to the sound of these three tracks, but in a way the band has taken a 90-degree (not a full 180) back to the first album, with a darker edge. You can hear a bit of minimal distortion on the picking of "Bårgå", and synthesizers have been added to create a brooding, solemn  backdrop of choirs, and there are many whispers and haunted, ghostlike personas adrift through the miasma of despair and darkness that they create. In addition, the band makes a use of simple, effective percussion through the first proper track, "I Fallet" which combined with the guitar patterns creates a similar atmosphere to some of the material Graav recorded as LIK. I must admit, though, that I rather prefer this approach to its predecessor, simply because there is more going on here.Viddernas tolv kapitel was quite effective in its drier audio clime and rustic meditations, but Till Trevaren might as well be the sound of a world ending, a forest ablaze at dawn as the nightscape is exiled by the waking sun. The music is spectral and involved, cascades of hypnotic guitars relished in a broth of both brazen and subtle effects and voices.

My only complaint would be that I didn't feel the need for the spoken intro and creaking door/spoken outro on the CD (the version I'm listening to). I'm not sure of their narrative value sandwiching the proper songs, but they felt a bit too empty, slice of life and useless. The three central compositions, though, are to date the best I've heard from Lönndom. Perhaps not as heavy as the debut Fälen Från Norr, and certainly not metallic, but truly they work at the back of your mind, creating sensations both lush and gnawing as if you were trapped in some evening forest, confused, the canopy revealing only faint hints of alien starlight. 15 minutes of the cold and eerie, without feeling barren like some of the pieces from the prior album. Well worth a listen if you're a fan of darker folk, atmospheric post-black metal or anything that involves a few points of glimmering light against the greater, all consuming blackness of the unknown.

Verdict: Win [8.5/10]

http://www.lonndom.se/

Germ - Wish (2012)

Germ is an interesting case where an artist puts an eclectic spin on his already established sound, but rather than continue beneath the moniker of a previous project and potentially alienate the audience, decides to transform this into an entirely new entity. Many who have followed the Australian black metal rogues' gallery will probably be familiar with multi instrumentalist Tim Yatras, who has an enormous repertoire in both that and the local power metal scene, having performed and sessioned with bands as diverse as Austere, Lord, Pestilential Shadows, Ilium and Dungeon, to name but a few. Germ is more or less his latest lovechild, an act that takes the depressive, melodic strains of Austere into a futurist format of electronica, choirs and cosmic atmospheres that darker outfit hadn't previously explored.

The result, Wish is a refreshing, nuanced, and mildly flawed hybrid of black/rock aesthetics that might seem like a merger of Austere's tortured, warm tones and fellow Australian Midnight Odyssey, who have also evolved into a similar, modernist space with their sophomore album. Yatras utilizes both his vile, soul scathing post-Burzum rasp and a cleaner pop tone in his vocals that work well off one another, not to mention the spacious choirs that hint at a love for classical, operatic arrangements. Wish tends to alternate between bulkier metal-injected compositions like "An Overdose of Cosmic Galaxy" and "Breathe in the Sulphur/A Light Meteor Shower" with shorter electro vignettes like "Oxygen", "Gravity" and "Infinity". I rather admired the latter, which often recalled the Vangelis soundtrack to Blade Runner, a touch of Tangerine Dream or perhaps even the sci-fi pulse you'd expect out of the scores to Mass Effect or Tron: Legacy. However, I often felt that the synthesizer lines felt arbitrary when paired with the heaviness.

The best example of this would be the 10 and a half minute opener, "An Overdose of Cosmic Galaxy", which I'd consider possibly the least catchy track here and probably not the best choice to lead off. Here, the electronics are poised subtly over the simplistic chord patterns but feel somewhat extraneous in execution. Unnecessary. While predictable, the rhythm patterns provide a rather shimmering basis for the Gothic, cleaner lines plucked atop them, but I felt like this was enough. This is also true of "Asteroid of Sorrow", a shorter piece at least, but the tinny little synth lines did it a disservice. Fortunately, in a few of the other cuts like the epic "Breathe in the Sulphur" with its double bass undercurrent and soaring choirs, or "Your Smile Mirrors the Sun", which is closest in structure to a traditional black metal track, the techno bits seem a little less noticeable, but I don't feel like that dimension of the project was realized to its full potential beyond the aforementioned intermission segments.

Still, Germ is a curious concept, an expansive exploration with near limitless directions that it could be taken off in, and to Yatras' credit, he keeps it quite cohesive and almost restrained. This is not some Gothic/industrial freak show, but an eloquent and emotionally capable journey that could payoff for those willing to immerse themselves in its drifting decor. The production is in general very well managed, with the vocals clear and effective and the uplifting choir sequences exploding into the thematic firmament, and as usual the guy's a very capable drummer. Most of the rhythm riffs are insanely predictable, but the few leads strewn about have a nice, galactic finish to them that fits well to the concepts of the lyrics. It's worth hearing, especially if you've an interest in that rare post-metal which is not gun shy of keys and symphonic ingredients.

Verdict: Win [7.25/10]

http://www.facebook.com/germofficial

Superchrist - Holy Shit (2012)

This is not my first encounter with Superchrist, a long standing US party metal outfit who have been touring and releasing albums since the late 90s, once through a local imprint here in the Boston area. They've got a simplistic formula to their heavy metal which draws upon influences heavily from hard rock and metallic punk, especially the 'dirtier' side of NWOBHM like Motörhead, Warfare, Saxon and Tank. But don't let the admittedly lighthearted nature of the band fool you into thinking they're mere lazy derivatives, because the Chicago mobsters have great tone and classic songwriting skills that should continue to please their installed fan base and perhaps even win over the new, young audience into such throwback sounds as those conjured by bands like Midnight, Speedwolf or Abigail.

Granted, Superchrist eschew the blackened, wilder vocals for something more along the lines of an Algy Ward or Lemmy Kilminster. Dirty and full-figured but quite clear, and it's a good fit for the dense, ruddy cheeked tone of the guitar. Drums shift between a standard hard rock clip as on the opener "Take Me to the Graveyard" to something decidedly more angry and punk like "Get Lost" or "Run to the Night", and the same could be said for the actual composition. As you'd expect, complexity is not a part of this band's vocabulary, the songs are written with at most 2-3 riffs in mind, bluesy and brief flights of lead work and a lot of genuine energy that transfers directly to their stage performances. In this regard, Holy Shit is not a whole lot different than Defenders of the Filth or any of their past full-lengths, though I think I preferred the production here for its fluid abuse, and the songs, while a bit restrained, seem substantially stronger in their ability to teleport the listener back to the formative, simpler times that inspired them.

To be blunt: Superchrist is way retro, but they've been doing it far longer than most of today's upstarts, and there's a certain confidence and experience that comes with the delivery of this album, not to mention the writing. It would be almost impossible for a band writing in this niche to NOT come off to some degree derivative of the many classic metal, hard rock and punk acts that predated them, and Holy Shit is no exception. But like the similar Midwest throwback artist Midnight, they bring this tangible viridity to the music that comes across entirely genuine, and as the band want nothing more than to have a good time, sharing some music and beers with the audience, I'd say this is working very much as intended, especially on the groovier tunes like "Burn Again" with its old school Metallica spin or "PAMF" which might have just as well been written for Orgasmatron. It might not be anything remarkable, but it doesn't need to be. Rock on, Windy City soldiers.

Verdict: Win [7.25/10]

http://www.superchrist.net/

Celtic Frost - Prototype DEMO (2002)

Prototype is both the strangest Celtic Frost recording and what might lamentably represent the biggest identity crisis in their history, but unlike the Nemesis of Power demo 10 years earlier, I can hardly blame it for laziness or lack of trying. Self released with gimmick guitar pedal packaging and brazen album title, it looks nothing like any of the band's backlog. In fact, if not for the Cold Lake icon in the right corner, the 'CF VIII' scrawled across the bass of the pedal, and a few of Tom's vocal lines through the heavier tunes, it would be quite difficult to qualify as a true Celtic Frost release, but more of an extension of Warrior's work in the industrial metal outfit Apollyon Sun in the later 90s. That said, Tom's mainstay was no stranger to experimentation, and so I can't say I was highly surprised when I first heard this. Only that it hadn't arrived sooner.

Protoype has a more sleek, modern production than anything Warrior had written to date, and the substantial track list leads me to believe that it was intended as some 'missing link' full length to fill in the gaps of the band's history. Sadly, though, it's quite thoroughly awful, despite the rather eclectic mix of ingredients. Normally I have no opposite to the inclusion of electronics, or even pop and hip hop elements to a heavier recording if they contribute to some sense of intrigue, compulsion or just some damn catchy songwriting, but here they seem misused as a tired set of cliches, a very 90s-esque 'open mindedness' that seeks to force an exhibition of the band's diversity. At its very best, the demo/album is competent and subtle with its external influences, but at worst it's a dire mockery of all good taste, tragically lame to the point that it takes on a bad, cartoon-like quality...

Let's just say that, from where this demo BEGINS, you have little to no idea how it will END, but we're not talking about unexpected thrills or 'twists' that one might deem pleasurably; rather an air traffic accident that initially seems as if it will cause only minor structural damage to a craft's landing gears but then ends up on the nightly news, hundreds of dead being pulled from the still smoking wreckage. Essentially, the first two tracks are a sort of 'trance' techno, with beats that loop alongside a modicum of glitch electronics, feedback and ominous, crunchy bass against the backdrop. The cyber rendition of the Beatles' "Helter Skelter" is quite interesting, and even if I don't dig how the lyrics grind across the heavily affected guitar samples and beeping noises, it was at least worth a try. "Totgetanzt" is an original, with even sparser, pulsing textures, sinister breath whispers and cheesy keyboard beats, but nothing as interesting as the cover ever occurs.

And then we come to the 'heavy' sequence of the demo, where drudging, muted guitars are affixed to drum machine and samples in a means redolent of Pitch Shifter, or maybe the late 90s Prong material with enhanced electrics. Warrior gets rather aggressive with his vocals on "The Dying I" or the occasional guffaw in "Human Dirt", but elsewhere he uses a sort of nasal, whining vocal that reminds me of Jonathan Davis from Korn. The lyrics are quite miserable through this portion of the track list, with a lot of generic call and response style chorus parts and generic 'what I am what I am what I am' ("Human Dirt") effortless bullshit lyrics that were a heavy symptom of bad 90s alternative rock, industrial, early metal core and groove/nu-metal. The heavily atmospheric electro rock duet "November" features Tom's whimpering alongside a female guest, and "Deep Inside" (one of two Apollyon Sun tracks that wound up here) is a passable trip hop tune with some psychedelic guitar swirl backing the chorus, but even the latter becomes incredibly cheesy when it hits the classical piano bridge with the girl whispers: 'deep inside deep inside'. Oh so sexy, guys! Not.

But, honestly, I'd take ANY OF THIS over what happens at the end of the demo, where it transforms from merely misspent creative energy into an outright abomination, as if a bunch of ICP juggalos decided to stick bananas in their wrestling thongs and then invade the recording session, bribing Tom with drugs to let them in the studio booth. "Get Wicked (dagger and grail edit)" is some weird interlude with a dude rapping in...French, I think? It's bad enough that we must suffer its reckless stupidity, but the guy actually has the audacity to include the phrases 'get down get down' in nearly the same breath as he cries 'procreation of the wicked'. At this point I am well on my way to caving in my face with handgun rounds, but Prototype actually gets WORSE, with the heinous and inane "Hip Hop Jugend", a hybrid of porn electronics, bad German Rammstein rambling, smutty 'ooh baby aah baby' female narrative and a bunch of manly Eurotrash shouts of 'Hip Hop Jugend' in the background.

Seriously, I dare anyone to listen through this song and then tell me again how miserable you think Cold Lake is. If you can make it through without cracking a smile or choking on a combination of laughter (at it, not with it) and vomit, then I certainly owe you a beer. But trust me, it will haunt you forever...the final nail in the coffin of failed ideas that permeate Prototype. As we all know by now, this direction was not one Warrior and Ain pledged to continue, its awkward and unnecessary mutation silently sealed away in vaults of agonizing regret that only a handful were so unfortunate to experience. Monotheist would later steer the band back on track, an acceptable compensation for 10 years of bullshit, but personally I'm not sure it could ever outlive scars like this.

Verdict: Fail [2.5/10]

http://www.celticfrost.com/

Hammer Fight - Hammer Fight EP (2011)

Not to be confused with the indie computer game of the same title, this Hammer Fight is instead a band of New Jersey devils running a sizable risk in their mash-up of styles. At the heart of this EP, you can clearly recognize a massive influence from punk, hardcore, rock and in particular the more bruising side of the NWOBHM spectrum made manifest by the might Motörhead. The vocals aren't quite so smokey as Lemmy, and the riffs are a bit more punch than blues, but it's hard not to envision something like "Down the Line" as other than a ticked off hybrid of newer, thrash driven Motörhead and Sick of It All, with perhaps a touch of Fear, and there ain't nothing wrong with that in my book.

Several of the songs definitely function on a more directly rock & roll axis, like "Disas-tour" and its wavy, bruising guitar boogie; or "If You Want Blood (You Got It)", which sounds like AC/DC if they went NYHC, complete with dense background shouts. Then there are others which are more distinctly infused with thrash, hardcore and punk reminiscent of Sheer Terror, Sick of It All, Slapshot, and so forth. Meaty guitar mutes dominate "Down the Line" or "Stuck in the Chamber", while the latter shows the band flexing its traditional metal lead chops. There are even a handful of more inspiring, melodic riffs that feel like a crude mesh of rock & melodic death metal, like "Tears of Unfathomable Sadness", which might just be the most emotional and effective among these seven songs. Hammer Fight keeps it short and sweet: they are well aware that their audience doesn't want more than a 3-4 minute rush of adrenaline.

As a result, even if I wasn't blown over by the material here, I have to admit that they do a good job of not wearing out their welcome. I mentioned earlier that this was a bit of a 'risky' sound they were reaching for, but that wasn't meant as a discouraging remark. Look at a band like Norway's Kvelertak, whose popularity has swollen performing a mix of rock & roll, spry punk energy and black metal vocals. Hammer Fight isn't quite the same sound, but they have a similar skill at fusing genres as if they had always been crops in the same garden. The production is punchy and honest, the riffs usually fun despite a death or nuance and invention, and it seems ready-made for moshing without any need for tons of stupid breakdowns. Not the sort of music you'd want to take to prom, perhaps, but more then sufficient to score your next wrestling meet.

Verdict: Win [7/10]

http://www.facebook.com/HammerFight

Metallica - Load (1996)

Suck. It's the gift that keeps on giving, and Bay Area juggernauts Metallica caught their case right about the time they decided to abandon nearly all traces of sensibility and good taste, around 1993-1994. There have been all manner of arguments through the ensuing decade or so about why such a thing as Load was necessary, and none that I could add upon, but let's just try and apply some common sense here: The Black Album sold megabucks. It's overt simplification and accessibility brought it to an even wider market than their previous blockbusters Master of Puppets and ...And Justice for All. So why not delve a little further into the realm of hot cars, designer clothing and Billboard? Hell, they'd pretty much already arrived on the back of "The Unforgiven" alone.

Note that Load's status as 'sellout' or 'not a sellout' does not necessarily resonate or interfere with the actual contents of its music, because it would be wholly naive to think that an album is good or bad concentric to its sales and popularity. Metallica had already been 'selling out' auditoriums, T-shirts and records long before this turd arrived in their colon of creativity, and success was not a novelty. No, the real elephants in the room here are the banal aptitude of the songwriting and the watered derivation of The Black Album formula. This was a band whose 80s output set repeated standards in not only the metal genre, but music as a whole. Masters of Puppets and Kill 'Em All are two of the albums I'd considering among the greatest ever penned by mankind, and Ride the Lightning close behind. Hell, even ...And Justice for All seems like a masterwork of sonic architecture compared to any of the ensuing records, and while it pursued a similar aesthetic of 'dumbing down' the band's central, thundering aggression, The Black Album expressed it with strong songwriting...

But straight from the get-go, Load seems tailored for rednecks and NASCAR rallies. Not the cool, REAL kind of rednecks, mind you, who would strap you to a gun rack, dowse you in gasoline, read you the Bible and then flick the match. I love those guys. No, this is more of a rock record for people who enjoy bands like Creed and Puddle of Mudd. Fast food hillbillies who gorge on repetitive rock radio. Consummate middle American consumers, whose knowledge of metal music probably fails to extend past Fred Durst's rantings or Ozzy's "No More Tears". This is an album that starts off with a song called "Ain't My Bitch", and then proceeds into another by the name of "2 x 4". We're a long way from "Trapped Under Ice" or "Leper Messiah", people, but if shitty lyrics, run down alcoholic emotions and songwriting that makes Glenn Danzig seem like Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart by comparison are your thing, bid thee welcome to the crushing cornucopia of disappointment.

Welcome Load: the boring rock record, 14 tracks and 79 minutes of LCD commercial rock and roll with only minor inflections of The Black Album wrought through it's Zeppelin-esque blues groove guitars. The heaviest you're going to hear on this record is something like "Cure", which comes off as a sort of crossbreed of Danzig and 90s Trouble at best. Or "King Nothing", the big single from the album which is basically a re-molding of "Enter Sandman", complete with bedtime story lyrics in the bridge! Yeah, sure, there are electric guitars here, slowly noodling along forgettable courses that make "Sad But True" seem like a monolith of long lost brutality. I wouldn't remember a thing about "Ain't My Bitch", "Poor Twisted Me" or "2 x 4" if it wasn't for the reprehensible song titles and the fact that this is supposed to be Metallica. For fuck's sake, if you slapped these tracks in the hands of Kid Rock (where they arguably belong), they'd STILL suck.

Are there diamonds in this rough? Not a one. If anything, to distinguish the highs and lows of this flabbergasting failure is to distinguish between the 'wouldn't listen to this today or any other day' tracks and the irreversibly, offensively inane. How about "Mama Said", a flirtation with country rock which is about as underwhelming as rock songs are manufactured. Hey, Lars. James. You wanna play country music? Go jam on a fucking Hank Williams, Jr. record. He at least knows what he's doing. Want more ballads? "Bleeding Me" gives you about two minutes in the vein of "The Unforgiven" before wearing out its welcome with six more minutes of simple escalation that might, if I were generous, yield a single riff sequence of note (around the 5:00 minute mark). Or "Until it Sleeps", another of the singles here, which is arguably the best song on the album yet still not fit to lick the boots of "Nothing Else Matters".

Even when Metallica start to kick out some Skynyrd/Aerosmith-like boogie grooves in "Ronnie" they feel like a phone in. What ever happened to this band's ability to scar the listener's spirit with their hammering thrash riffs, forceful vocals and lyrics of relevance? This has all dissolved into a mockery of what the band once represented, a no compromise streak of superb songwriting which greatly expanded metal's ability to be taken seriously not only by its pre-installed adherents but by the public at large. Even the solos on this album are weak. Love or hate Kirk Hammett, but his work on the previous albums was incredibly memorable even for its lack of outright technical shredding. About the only thing that fit in flushly with this mundane new territory was Lars' drumming, and that's because it was so simple to begin with.

I can understand that bands change, that sounds evolve. I was fully on board when Metallica was considering a less complex follow-up to ...And Justice for All. I would have appreciated it more had they gone in the opposite direction, towards an even more extreme sound, but it made sense that they would not want to repeat themselves. After all, why should they have? They were already on top of the world. They still are. But laziness and the laws of adaptation are no excuses for the sort of banal songs that clutter up this clusterfuck. The world is already choked with mainstream radio channels endlessly cycling boring, formulaic hard rock music to people without the balls to experience real passion in music. Why add another? And why should that other have to be Metallica? Load isn't the worst album ever written, and it's not even the worst from this particular band, but it's not even good for a country-blues pop-rock effort. It reeks of sterile pop polish and crass, wimpy attentions, and funny enough, they smell sort of like a cash register.

Verdict: Fail [2.5/10] (and I shake as I take it in)

http://www.metallica.com/

Megadeth - Risk (1999)

The title says it all, indeed, but just because dangerous Dave was warning us of his impending midlife crisis, doesn't make this a whole lot easier to ingest. On the other hand, Risk is all TOO easy to ingest, if you're some sort of anomalous disco-funk-rock-pop addict who fancies Mustaine's sneering rasp, puerile lyrics and just a feather dusting of metallic excess. We get it, Dave. You wanted to branch out. Expand yourself. Breach a new audience. Win some karma. Touch the baby Jesus of your soul. Well, I have it on Good Authority that the son of God actually hated this album, and had to binge Under the Sign of the Black Mark for weeks just to rid himself of its stain. But perhaps the biggest crime of this career low, is that there are a small handful of catchy moments scattered throughout the album which might have actually functioned from a pure pop or rock perspective had they not been driven to the winds by Mustaine's scatterbrained songwriting. As if he hired Diane Warren or some other pop author and then fired her half way through...

As with their esteemed Californian contemporaries Metallica and Slayer, or really almost any of the late 80s thrash titans, Megadeth was due for a reality check once their genre was no longer one of the biggest arena packers out there. Honestly, I'm surprised they managed to stave off sucking for quite so long. Aside from the embarrassment that was "Sweating Bullets", their Countdown to Extinction was pretty good, not to mention Youthanasia, which despite the slow, producer encouraged pace was loaded with worthwhile tunes. It wasn't until Cryptic Writings (1997) that they really fell off the horse, but even that paperweight of mediocrity glimmers when compared to this exercise in awful soul searching. If we were to count them, there might be all of two acceptable metal rhythms on Risk: the central Zeppelin groove in the opener "Insomnia", or the slow-stepping progressive doom leanings hinted at in "The Doctor is Calling". Otherwise, the 'heaviness' of this album serves as nothing more than window dressing for Mustaine and his troupe.

The lead guitars are sustainable enough (we wouldn't want Friedman and Mustaine losing their endorsements), and any dismay I might have towards the pop sterility of the production is precluded by the sheer insanity of the composition. Or rather, the lack of insanity. Just the first track alone ("Insomnia") cycles through techno rock, 'eclectic' strings, bluesy metal grooves, harmonic pop vocals and the hands-down most generic pattern of notes in the history of guitar music (starts at about 1:00 in the song). And this is probably one of the best pieces on the album! We are then subjected to the hilariously awful lyrics of "Prince of Darkness", with its trudging awful groove metal subtext that makes Black Label Society sound talented by comparison. Or worse, MUCH worse...the album's 'single', "Crush 'Em", which is preambled by a lame self affirmation of a crowd roaring ("Enter the Arena") while Dave shouts out CRUSH EM and the drums and bluesy, mean guitars prepare us for the worst. This is a fucking DISCO song with muted guitars that leap into predictable NWOBHM styled rhythms while some of the worst lyrics in Megadeth's career are spat out over the hissed 'gang' vocals...

I don't know about you, but by the time that song was over, I had already decided that I would be returning the CD to the record store later that day. And yet, an inner masochistic sensibility drove me forward into the cheap radio rock of "Breadline" and "I'll Be There", which feel like they might as well be Def Leppard outtakes, or "Wanderlust" which seems like it's an attempt to create a Megadeth edition of "Paradise City". The only song I really didn't hate on the latter half of the album was "The Doctor is Calling", which aside from a few dumb lyrical effects had a simple and effective momentum that felt like a mix of Alice Cooper and Queensryche. But truthfully, the remainder of this record is so barren of quality that you might start seeing tumbleweeds roll on by as you listen...

Thankfully this narcissistic knucklehead would come to his senses for the following effort The World Needs a Hero. It's not good, not even close to good, but it somewhat put the reigns on this experiment in banal cross-dressing and soul searching. 'Open-mindedness'. Believe me, I've got no problem whatsoever with a little experimentation, or even a LOT of experimentation, if the results produce a quality piece of music I can enjoy for years to come. Risk is simply nothing of the sort. The songs stink, the lyrics are often awkward and none of the external to metal components are novel, unique or adventurous, unless you consider a stroll through the sounds of the Billboard Top 40 to be 'adventurous'. Risk is safe, silly and incredibly sad: for all the wrong reasons.

Verdict: Fail [2.75/10] (you better not mess us around)

http://www.megadeth.com/