Punisher: War Zone (2008)

*CONTAINS SPOILERS*

It will be interesting to see if 3 strikes = you're out in the bloated world of comics 2 film, but for what it's worth, Punisher: War Zone is superior to either of its predecessors. I went into the film with every expectation I was going to loathe it, and wound up getting a few laughs and some rather brutal, violent entertainment. Good cinema this is not, but as a way to kill a few hours it is sufficient.

I'm not a fan of Frank Castle (i.e. the Punisher) in comics or film. Though he's forever ingrained into the category of 'iconic' Marvel super heroes, his simple back story of revenge and often one-sided persona do little to satisfy my geek spot. A vigilante executioner running up limitless kills across the criminal underground of the Marvel universe, including numerous masked villains and he's also defeated some of the heroes. He's not got the super powers of a Spider-Man or Hulk but he's equally effective. In the first scene, he interrupts a mafia dinner and kills everyone at the table (molls included) in a different way, then suspends himself upside down from a chandelier and takes out a small army of goons. We get it. You're a bad ass who will walk straight through the movie with little to no opposition.

The strengths of the film lie almost exclusively within its cast. Ray Stevenson (who you may recognize from Outpost or the Rome HBO series) really embodies the look of the comic book Punisher. He also manages to balance the brutal edge of the avenging killer with a few moments of tenderness, without coming across as too lame. Dominic West is quite funny as Jigsaw, a handsome mafioso who has his face scarred and deformed in a fight with Castle, then decides to run with it. A new character was added into the mythos with 'Loony Bin Jim', brother of Jigsaw, portrayed by Doug Hutchison, who is sprung from the asylum. I've heard many complaints about the character's presence and his over-the-top dialogue, but I found him quite hilarious, especially in his exchanges with Jigsaw. The two work off each other well as a pair of misanthropic, macabre tough guys. And thankfully Loony Bin Jim is in the film, because he's the only character that gives Punisher even a semblance of a hard time in their bathroom battle. The supporting cast ranges from entertaining. Some of the thugs are pretty entertaining, in particular the doe eyed glares given by Mark Camacho as Pittsy and Keram Malicki-Sanchez as his son Ink. T.J. Storm appears as a part-pirate, part-parkour street runner. Of course, these three are all easily dispatched, but for the moments they were on screen they shined. Dash Mihok is passable as the police agent responsible for tracking Castle's movements. Colin Salmon is forgettable as Lawrence Fishbur...I mean Special Agent Paul Budiansky, though he is given some nice lines (while sitting in church with Castle, Budiansky quips "They don't call them the Ten Suggestions".) Wayne Knight is very good as Microchip, and has some of the better scenes.

The plot is pretty much A to B. As part of his genocidal crusade against organized crime, Castle accidentally kills an undercover agent, which brings his family (and agent Budiansky) into the fray. Then he has to kill a LOT of people. The action is fierce, bloody, and brutal. No punches are pulled, and I was kind of surprised since director Lexi Alexander is rather new and hadn't done a film like this before. In the climactic battle, Castle (with the indirect aid of a Russian mafioso out for revenge) has to gun his way through an old hotel against numerous stereotypical gangs (Asian triad, African-American gangstas, and of course them evil white skins & punks!) into a final showdown with Loony Bin and Jigsaw. As one sides as most of them seem, the fights are well choreographed and ugly as they should be in a Punisher film.

Some of the musical choices are passable (Rob Zombie, Slayer and Machines of Loving Grace) but the rest is quite a bit of nu-metal or pop punk garbage which is horribly queued into certain scenes. The original score from Michael Wandmacher fares slightly better, and I would have prefered them to stick with these serious tones and leave out the nu-metal altogether. The cameras work a little magic here, capturing a world of colorful nightscapes across which the violence ensues.

War Zone (and most Marvel properties, unfortunately) cannot excel in a medium which has produced such works as The Dark Knight and Watchmen to the big screen successfully. The source material here is simply not that strong. Thankfully, Alexander doesn't hit us over the head with a lengthy exposition of the character's origin (it is referenced in a few flashbacks and comments briefly). She throws us right into the action, and the actors have what fun they can. The film is superior to the 2004 Thomas Jane vehicle in all departments. It's not as sad or pensive, it cuts right to the comic book violence and over the top villains. Stevenson, Knight, West and most of the thugs chew up the scenery, but the times they're not on screen it becomes less exciting. If you love the source material then this is probably the best on-screen version of Punisher you are going to get. Otherwise, it's not the worst 104 minutes you'll spend in the cinema or in front of your TV.

Verdict: Indifference [6/10] (blood in the urine, early indicator of kidney failure)

http://www.punisherwarzonemovie.com/

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Looking at the title, Shaun of the Dead is obviously a zombie film parody, but the great thing about it is that it is better than the vast majority of zombie flicks out there. Written by Spaced alums Edgar Wright (also directing) and Simon Pegg (starring), with numerous others appearing in the cast from that memorable, short-lived UK sit-com. The film revolves around Shaun (Pegg), distraught electronic shop employee seemingly stuck in a dead end job, with a girlfriend growing tired of his repetitive barfly social life (among other things), and tension at home between his best friend Ed (Nick Frost) and his other flatmate, Pete (Peter Serafinowicz). One night, things erupt for Shaun. It's just his shit luck that at this same time the dead are rising in London.

The film is riddled with pop culture references of all kinds, a la Spaced, usually revolving around other zombie films, Spaced itself, or various Star Wars movies. However, where that show had frequent flashback/fantasy sequences, Shaun of the Dead moves through at a steady clip. Clocking in at 99 minutes, it's only a little over an hour and a half, and yet it feels nothing like that, not dragging at any point and leaving you wanting more after the credits are rolling. Performances are good all around. Sarcastic comic/actor Dylan Moran puts in a memorable and hilarious performance as Shaun's girlfriend's friend's flatmate (phew) David, cast wonderfully.

Spaced and Shaun of the Dead both have a particular charm about them that is hard to put into words, combining dick and fart jokes with clever gags that connect seemingly normal comments to later incidents, as well as the fact that the movie is shot beautifully, with two identical extended steadicam sequences coming to mind. Shaun travels all the way from his flat to the corner store and back -- once as things are normal, and the second during the midst of the zombie invasion, with Shaun oblivious to this, hung over. As for action, there is plenty of it, as well of course hilarious and disgusting gore.

Shaun of the Dead is just all around executed to perfection as a zombie spoof, and it's unlikely that if you are reading this blog you haven't seen this movie. However, if you haven't, what the fuck are you waiting for? Find it, watch it, enjoy.

Verdict: Epic Win [10/10] (you've got red on you)

http://www.shaunofthedeadmovie.com/

Quantum of Solace (2008)

Apparently mediocrity is the new black in today's unscrupulous moviegoing audience, because the Daniel Craig 'reboot' of the James Bond franchise has been anything but deserving of its rabid following.

Since I've already, undoubtedly pissed in every bowl of cereal from here to the Prime Minister, let me clarify a few things. Quantum of Solace does not suck. Casino Royale didn't suck either. Both retain a lot of loyalty to the original Bond stories by Ian Fleming, and Daniel Craig is not a bad actor in the slightest. The new films have astounding production values which look gorgeous in both DVD and HD formats; and the action is brutal and effective. My real gripes with these stories is their lack of almost any interesting plot hook, ineffectual villains which Bond steamrolls over (more easily so than in past incarnations) and horribly dry, too obvious one liners which cannot live up to the Bonds of yesteryear.

I get that this is a 'serious', edgy James Bond for the 21st century audience who also salivates to the 'realistic', emo-Battlestar Galactica remake and similar retreads. What I don't get is how I've spent decades defending the 'serious' Timothy Dalton take on the roll from the complainers who are now salivating over Craig's very similar approach. Sure, the hair is a different color, but come on now. The new films have also had a little of the piss taken out of them by the recent Jason Bourne film series (undoubtedly influenced by Bond films themselves, but their action and cinematography is reflected in these new efforts).

But let's cut to the chase. Specifically, the car chase which opens this film with the same pulse pounding intensity as the 'parkour' chase in the previous movie. Action is not the problem here. You get gunfights, hand to hand combat, and a great one on one battle as Bond and agent turned traitor Mitchell fight it out admidst ropes and new construction in an Italian galleria. The conflict is brutal and edgy, painful to behold and thus effective (Craig was even injured during the filming). The film follows Casino Royale directly. Bond captures Mr. White to interrogate him and gain insight into the vast secret organization of old rich white men (but of fucking course...) who seem to control everything in the world. It's a damned Alex Jones docu-film with James Bond, but to be fair this has always been the case. En route to his revenge for the death of Vesper in the previous film, Bond runs into the crooked yet ineffectual villain Dominic Greene, portrayed by wide-eyed French actor Mathieu Amalric. Amalric isn't bad for the role, but there is little to squeeze out from such a dull character. Greene is even more boring and unworthy of an opponent for Mr. Bond than the previous film's 'Le Chifre'. And this one doesn't even weep blood...

The supporting cast is decent, but honestly, noone in this film has any semblance of a standout performance. Judi Dench reprises 'M' and acts much like she does in most of her films. Olga Kurylenko and Gemma Arterton provide the eye candy yet aren't nearly as fetching or memorable as Bond girls of the past. At this point I'd die for a Plenty O'Toole or Honey Ryder. Dominic Greene's henchmen are likewise throwaway as are the corrupt Bolivian military officials. Craig is a decent Bond (news flash: they've all been good), but his one liners are cliches and most of his speaking roles are devoid of anything memorable.

The cinematography is astounding, the action is razor sharp and the locations in Italy, Haiti, Austria and Bolivia are all worthwhile. Marc Forster helms the film well. It's tight and snappy, never wasting much time (akin to the Bourne films). The David Arnold score suffices, though mediocre next to Bond films past, and the Jack White/Alicia Keys opening theme is sadly more miss than hit.

As loyal as this vision may be to its source materials, I really feel the film (and its predecessor) lacks much of the charm which made so many (not all, mind ye) of the the Connery/Lazenby/Moore/Dalton/Brosnan films enjoyable. Dominic Greene is no Goldfinger...no Max Zorin...no Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Bond's near death escapes and unbelievable streaks of luck defy the 'realism' defense made for this film, so why not hook us up with a villain to remember? Or a plot that dares to dream beyond the atypical point A - point B - point C revenge scheme. Since this is obviously a Two Towers type of film which is setting up the final part of a trilogy, I can only hope that the remainder of this mysterious organization will provide some real bang for the buck.

Verdict: Indifference [6/10]

http://www.007.com/

Phantom Dust (2004)

The world is unfair: good guys never win, birds congregate above your car and Soulja Boy has a career. Keeping pace with these mockeries of justice is the fact that Phantom Dust for the original Xbox is not a million-selling household name.

Describing Phantom Dust to the uninitiated can be a daunting task, and the most curious aspect of the title is the original style of gameplay: what if Magic: The Gathering, arena-style deathmatches and action RPGs were all featured on a single episode of Will it Blend? The answer to the show's titular question is a "yes" as definite as it seems unlikely, and quite well at that. The meat of the game is matches between 2 to 4 participants in a number of post-apocalyptic urban arenas. Your only weapons are "Skills", cards essentially, drawn from your Arsenal (deck) in static spawn points placed around the levels. Phantom Dust's range of 300+ skills is ocean wide and deep, spanning everything from the expected simple fireball to reflective shields to skills that change the the dynamics of the rules themselves. The variety and well-balanced nature of the Skill sets demand that your Arsenal's strategic design and application are the highest priority; only death awaits the reckless. This is I suppose a blessing and a curse, the fact that everyone is playing Halo 3 on Xbox Live instead of this is a fucking tragedy.

The graphics are fantastic for an Xbox game and hold up well even today as 2008 wanes. The character design is not for everyone but is certainly unique, the environments are universally well-realized and gloriously destructible, bringing further tactical possibilities to the table. Cinematics are well-done and the (admittedly rare) voice acting is no worse than average.

But in spite of Phantom Dust's general excellence in gameplay and design, it is the story that burns the game into this mind. You are one of two men, found and raised from slumber in iron coffins by strangers in a strange land. The protagonist and his counterpart, a man called Edgar, awake after your recovery in a makeshift medical bay in an underground sanctuary, the only collection of life anyone knows of. You are greeted by a man you don't remember, but you realize you don't even remember who you are.

The world is over, the surface irrevocably blanketed by a mysterious dust for which the game is named. The dust steals the memories from anyone exposed to it for longer than fifteen minutes or so, and the only refuge from infinite amnesia lies underground. To some, this anti-mnemonic miasma grants a gift in return for what it takes away: the ability to physically manifest their will. This is the source of Skills, psychic evocations explained as being contained within the spheres of dust to be found around the surface, and the player and Edgar are of course two of the... "lucky" ones, if such a thing exists in such a bleak world. The only thing that anyone really remembers are the thing everyone remembers: the vision of some unknown ruins haunting every survivor for as far back as their memories reach. No one knows anything about them but the survivors have made it their mission to find these ruins, compelled to find some meaning on a derelict earth. The story continues on from there on to an ending that must be experienced firsthand.

The music is worthy of special note; rarely is a score, video game or otherwise, so piercingly apropos. The violin, dischordant and alone but for a faint echo serves as metaphor for existence for Phantom Dust's sparse populace, a desperate wavering warmth in a tundra of solitude. Even the upbeat, static-filtered combat themes rarely involve more than a couple of instruments, again a metaphor for loneliness: the bitterness of combat is aggrandized by the knowledge that your brief respite from isolation ends only with your victory or death, and all that awaits the survivor is the familiar oppressive loneliness intensified.

The absolute saddest thing of all is that all but no one has played this game. Debuting at only $19.99 retail, this game should have been in every house with an Xbox, but Phantom Dust rewards thoughtful analysis instead of headshots so nobody gave it the chance it deserved. Considering this, the game's lonely atmosphere becomes dramatically ironic.

Verdict: Epic Win

http://www.phantom-dust.com/