Iron Maiden - Purgatory/Maiden Japan EP (1990)

The First Ten Years: Part III

This is the third release in the First Ten Years collection, 10 EPs that collect 20 of the band's singles during their first decade of existence. Purgatory was a 2-tracker, standard single released in 1981 and the Maiden Japan EP was also released that year which I've already covered elsewhere in its extended, superior, fan club format upon which you could experience the whole gig, as the penultimate live recording of the band with their original vocalist Paul Di'anno.

Because it's all available elsewhere, I find this to be perhaps the single most worthless EP in the entire series. Both "Purgatory" and "Genghis Khan" are available on Di'anno's 2nd album with the band, Killers, though admittedly they are both great songs that I don't mind hearing again...I would only mind paying for it. The Maiden Japan EP contains only four of the tracks from the performance, beginning with "Running Free", then the murky 70s vibes of "Remember Tomorrow", the wailing "Killers" and the Zep-stepping grooves and morose melodies that complete "Innocent Exile". These all sound great, but I've covered them elsewhere, and I'd certainly urge any Maiden fan to try and track down that full-length version of the concert rather than this EP or the Maiden Japan EP itself, which is identical if you've got the standard domestic version.

"Listen With Nicko!" begins with the drummer mock snoring, which is my sentiment exactly when faced with the prospect of another of his rambling, schizoid anecdotes as he takes the piss out of himself and showcases the history of these tracks, which are coincidentally not something he himself was a part of (Clive Burr was still drumming). We learn little details like the original title of "Purgatory" and how it was one of the only singles that didn't chart in the top #50 for Maiden (by 1990, anyway), and McBrain jokingly infers that had he been part of the band then, perhaps it would have charted more favorably...

Simply put, this is the least compelling of the First Ten Years EPs, with very little of interest to offer unless it is your only means of acquiring material from the Maiden Japan EP. "Purgatory" and "Genghis Khan" are both great, but they are greater as a part of Killers. Otherwise, this is good only for its voucher towards the box case.

Verdict: Epic Fail [2/10] (places I have never seen, pennies I will never see again)

http://www.ironmaiden.com/

Iron Maiden - Best of the Beast (1996)

The Best of the Beast was the first proper compilation album released by Iron Maiden a full 16 years after the release of their s/t, and this does seem a conundrum, as the band had been heavily circulated and popular for years. But arrive it did, in a variety of formats that were bound to confuse, but all containing previously released material and a few rare recordings. There was a single CD edition of the Best of the Beast which was even less warranted than the later Somewhere Back in Time, and a deluxe 4LP package which contains the most value (if you're into the vinyl, that is) as it simply has the most tracks. But this particular version I'm reviewing was the standard, 2CD version with 27 tracks and about 2 and a 1/2 hours of music.

"Virus" was probably the highlight here of the newer material, if only for the novelty that it had not been released on a full-length album. It's a steady hard rocker featuring Blaze Bayley's vocals, and while it's not the worst Maiden in history, it's very much forgettable, like just about anything on the abysmal Virtual XI (the next full-length released after this compilation). It's no fault of the vocals themselves, but the song simply does not possess even a simple melody of interest, even when it breaks down into the skanking, cornball bridge with a solo that seems it took no longer than about 5 seconds to compose. After this, the compilation begins to travel back in time, starting with two selections from The X Factor: "Sign of the Cross" and "Man on the Edge". Now, while I don't have any particular malice for these tracks, they are far from the best songs of The X Factor, let alone Maiden's entire career...which this compilation is probably supposed to represent.

Back further, we get "Be Quick or Be Dead", and live versions "Fear of the Dark" and "Afraid to Shoot Strangers" which make up the Fear of the Dark section; while "Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter" and "Holy Smoke" serve as proxies for No Prayer for the Dying. These are all solid enough inclusions, through you could honestly have done with only one track from each album and included a lot more from their first seven full-lengths, the ones that truly matter. But these will be explored in more detail throughout the remainder of this disc and the next. "The Clairvoyant", "Can I Play With Madness?" and "The Evil That Men Do" are here to represent Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, and I suppose the latter two belong. "Wasted Years" and "Heaven Can Wait" do justice to Somewhere in Time and round out the first CD. Of course, in my humble opinion that entire album could be reprinted here if we were REALLY interested in the 'best' of the 'beast'...

The 2nd disc begins with more live versions to represent Live After Death and Powerslave (very clever...), "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" and "Running Free", but then Powerslave is expanded upon with the excellent "Aces High" and "2 Minutes to Midnight". Piece of Mind has "Where Eagles Dare" and obviously "The Trooper", and The Number of the Beast is given a little extra heat with the title track, "Hallowed Be Thy Name" and the popular "Run to the Hills". So far, no surprises among the older material, they merely included the popular live staples. Killers only gets "Wrathchild" while Iron Maiden gets "Phantom of the Opera" and "Sanctuary". Closing the disc and compilation are two of the only other reasons aside from "Virus" that the Maiden fan might have purchased this, a re-pressing of "Iron Maiden" and "Strange World" from the band's rare Soundhouse Tapes EP. But neither version is much to write home about if you own the debut, as both were included there.

As an attempt to include bits and bytes from each of the Maiden releases of note up to its time of release, the Best of the Beast does not fall completely on its ass, even though I rue the day we ever consider anything from the 1995-1999 era anything near the band's 'best'. It's nice to have a new song, but "Virus" is like trying to tap water from a dry desert well. The Soundhouse Tapes likewise do little to compel ownership of this compilation, and excluding a few live versions on the first disc...you've already got everything else. In my opinion, save yourself the time and trouble and just watch the "Virus" video online to sate your curiosity...that should be all you require to turn your nose up at this easily ignored profit margin.

Verdict: Fail [2.5/10]

http://www.ironmaiden.com/

Defuntos - Um Sofrimento Distante EP (2008)

Defuntos is a swell Portuguese band that I discovered a short time ago through their split with Australian Striborg (a band whom, until recently, I had very much underestimated). By 'swell', I mean this is some sick and suicidal black/doom which will void your bowels and find you religion, unless you have branded yourself a heathen forever and given up on the world. In which case, this is an adequate soundtrack for your demise, whether that involves percocet and hard liquor or just a quick line across the wrist with a rusted whatever that you have lying about. Um Sofrimento Distante is a brief, 2 track EP the band released in between their albums Sangue Morto (2007) and A Negra Vastidão das Nossas Almas (2008), and while the tracks are not quite as crushing or memorable as some of the material from the full-lengths, they're still interesting if you can find the mood.

Defuntos stands out as another of those bands (like Necromantia or earlier Barathrum) who eschew the use of guitar and instead enhance the presence of the bass over the drums. Conde F. is a sick fuck who will do just about anything in that microphone to ruin your day, whether that's a regulated black snarl, morbid goth vocals or throat clearing, crooked madness. The writing is so basal that I honestly could not confirm whether it was improvised or not, but it matters little if your aim is to swallow your end down this spiral to oblivion. "Luctus Maeror" is nearly 10 minutes in length, with a cool gothic bass line that plummets along to Conde F's tortured ranting. It really does not sustain itself well through such an extensive play time, but for the few moments it absorbed me, I was honestly hooked. Right through the flesh. "Margaret Moyes" is slower and more ritualistic, with the vocals often creating a parallel line to the bass before they become Salacious Crumb-like, like a wicked child strangling the frisky cat on the playground and being sent to a place where padded walls will fail to right his wrong.

This is not for the faint of heart, and really, unless you can envision yourself listening to something like old Celtic Frost, without the guitars, slower than a crawl, while Tom G. Warrior is on a binger in which he's half choking on mouthwash and hatred, I'd advise you stay away from this. Of course, the band would only be too happy that you stayed away from their obscure art, but I certainly recommend their full-lengths if you crave something depressing to the very edge of possibility.

Verdict: Indifference [6/10]

Abigail & Vorkuta - Speed Metal Motherfuckers EP (2007)

I am a cursed man, cursed to enjoy just about anything a Japanese band like Sabbat, Metalucifer or Abigail involves itself in. If that means I need to dig through a slew of short run live recordings and rare split releases with the seedier bands from around the world, then so be it. But here on the Speed Metal Motherfuckers 7" from Necromancer Records (aka Speed Metal Motherfuckerzz if you have access to the cassette version on Hammer of Damnation), your favorite Engrish butchers may have just met their match in Hungary's Vorkuta, a prolific group featuring current and former members of bands like Witchcraft, Dög, and Drünken Bastards.

Vorkuta take the first two tracks, and they honestly don't sound like a far cry from Dög, as both bands basically channel Hellhammer and early Celtic Frost into an even more disgusting and degrading black mass. "At the Threshold of Hell" seems like it might have fallen off the back of Morbid Tales, a shriveled tumor, except for the faster segments which bound along like jackrabbits thrashing about beneath a buzzsaw. "Helldrinkerz" is even sicker, with an infusion of grind and punk ballast that writhes beneath the blacker, alcohol seared throat like a lizard with its tail severed. I am only familiar with the one Vorkuta full-length Into the Chasms of Lunacy, which I seem to recall as rather average, but if this split is any indication, they may have more to offer than initially thought.

Abigail's half begins with the venomous, filthy barrage that is "Satanik Lust", and you'll know quickly that this is one of the band's more 'serious' songs, where they sound more like a phalanx of hellish mercenaries hungry for slaughter than their usual bitch-flaunting street metal selves. As far as I'm concerned, they're sexy either way, and this track is no exception if you like dirt in your wounds, plain and simple execution and utter hostility. They've also included a live track "Rocking Metal Motherfuckers" which sounds as if it's being taped from the bathroom of the bar, Yasuyuki's vocals probably driving out half the poor souls that thought they would just show up for some beer and conversation, not realizing that the Devil's own drug dealers were going to be present. It sounds like a wonderful mess, but sadly it's the least interesting song on the split.

I've railed on an off about EPs, collectible releases and the like, and how they're generally a waste of your time and spending. In a perfect world, I'd rather have a CD available to be which collected all this detritus. But if you're going to take the plunge, I insist you purchase any Abigail split or vinyl you come across, if only because the band's DIY mentality and wise choice of scumbag cohorts is just too endearing to resist. Vorkuta prove themselves worthy here, but I would have preferred another Abigail track to the junky live (though it brings back a lot of memories of gigs I've played at or watched.)

Verdict: Indifference [6.5/10]

http://vorkuta.uw.hu/index.html

Iron Maiden - Seventh Son of a Seventh Son (1988)

The title to Iron Maiden's 7th album functions on a great many levels. One of these was obvious if you'd been following the band, but it's also a partial concept album which centers on the hereditary mystique of the number seven, in both folklore and theological history. Ever a fan of science fiction and fantasy in their lyrics, it should come as no surprise that the conceptual sequence of tracks here are also drawn from a worthy source, The Tales of Alvin Maker by controversial writer Orson Scott Card (there was a recent debacle within liberal/PC circles over Card's indirect involvement in the video game Shadow Complex...I wonder if, by extension, those same people would suddenly put a boycott up on Maiden album due to Card's active and open opposition to homosexuality.) But I also like to think of the album in a sequential sense. We've already explored The Number of the Beast, 666, (and also a science fiction novel), so why not venture out to visit its nearest mystical neighbor?

There are several other distinctions important to this record. For one, I would consider it the most 'eighties' of their efforts, if only for the increased presence of synthesizers ala Adrian Smith and Steve Harris. It's not as if the concept was completely alien to metal or hard rock bands of the 80s, but here on Seventh Son of a Seventh Son it manifests itself like so many other commercial sounds of 80s rock...bands like Asia, Rush and Foreigner all came to mind as I was listening through the album, though to be fair, the rest of the package is entirely loyal to Maiden's previous (and in my opinion, career crowning) efforts Powerslave and Somewhere in Time. In fact, songs like "Heaven Can Wait" and "Wasted Years" are a good jumping off point for this newer material, because I can't think of a single song on this album that doesn't capitalize on some grand melody.

The increased use of synths creates an interesting dynamic here, for while Harris' bass is as plunky (perhaps too plunky) as ever, the guitars and keys are forced to complement one another within the highly melodic atmosphere. For this reason, I'd consider it one of the 'least heavy' of Maiden's efforts, but that's not really a major issue, since the music generally delivers the goods. Of course, coming after a masterpiece like Somewhere in Time, there is bound to be some disappointment. Here it's just that I felt a few of the songs were lacking, with some less than spectacular, phoned in lead work. But Dickinson compensates with a full force performance, both manic and melodic. Believe it or not though, this is the first album where I can remember feeling that Maiden were becoming 'old'. Not in a bad way, mind ye, but when you had bands like Helloween or Fates Warning taking this newly defined 'power metal' to new speeds and energetic heights unheard of by the originators (Maiden, Priest, Accept, and Dio-era Sabbath), it was growing increasingly hard to think of Maiden on the precipice where they once sat proudly. But with this aging has come acceptance.

"Moonchild" is the first track, and the first in the 'conceptual' sequence of the album (along with "Infinite Dreams", "Infinite Dreams", the title track, "The Prophecy" and "The Clairvoyant"). the track opens with a brief and somber vocal passage, before opening into the full synthesizer spread that half made me feel like I was about to enter a new Boston album. But the verse quickly alters that perception, through its driving bass, and a powerful, graceful and haunting chorus that succeeds not only for the vocal melody, but the guitars that gleam below. "Infinite Dreams" threw me for a loop, with a long sequence of clean, flowing guitars that are played in a pseudo-funk phrasing not unlike some of the more balladic Red Hot Chili Peppers tracks of the early 90s (course, Maiden did it first). However, it does erupt into some slower paced, proggish metal with synthesizers scintillating above the steady chords. "Can I Play With Madness?" made for an obvious first single, due to the unforgettable NWOBHM thunder submerged beneath the verse, and Dickinson's chorus which sails among the eagles. Considering the subject matter here, the song is strangely uplifting... "The Evil That Men Do" was the other obvious single, a little more serious perhaps, but with another of those unforgettable chorus hooks that has never eluded me to this day.

Iron Maiden is of course no stranger to the 'epic' length track, but "Seventh Son...", for all its charm, is unfortunately no "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" or "Alexander the Great". There are a lot of great little jamming hooks dispersed throughout the track, and the actual verse and bad ass chorus elements reminded me of the power of a "Powerslave", but I didn't care for the leads here, and perhaps 2-3 minutes could have been clipped off to positive effect. Not bad, just not entirely consistent to these ears. "The Prophecy" has a beautiful, tranquil intro which erupts into an excellent dual melody which reminds me a little of some of the riffing on Running Wild's Port Royal, a personal favorite from the same year. This is another of the album's better tracks, and I adored the vocals. "The Clairvoyant" has a nice subtle grace to the verse, where the synth and guitars both shine, but outside of this it's not a favorite. "Only the Good Die Young" has a nice "Trooper"-like foundation of pumping bass triplets adorned in harmonic gloss, again it's not one of their best tracks but it works.

Perhaps one might serve up Seventh Son of a Seventh Son as Maiden's most 'progressive' work (at least until the mediocre Dance of Death), and would be difficult to disagree, because there is certainly that atmosphere being painted across its vaulted, melodic spires. This album concludes what I consider to be the Golden Age of Maiden (1982-1988), though I don't really think of it on the same level as any of the previous four records. It's very well written, and several of its tracks have deservedly found their way into the fans' hearts and the band's set list, but it was the first Maiden album that wouldn't make my short list for the years' end. Granted, 1988 was an astounding year for evolution across numerous metal genres, with more breakthroughs than a science fair, but its kind of sombering to find the Irons absent from where they once reigned.

Highlights: Moonchild, Can I Play With Madness?, The Evil That Men Do, The Prophecy

Verdict: Win [8.5/10] (and the whole of the village is doomed)

http://www.ironmaiden.com/

Martriden - Encounter the Monolith (2010)

I was immediately transfixed to the cover image of Martriden's sophomore effort, Encounter the Monolith, for the comic book meets Arthur C. Clarke aesthetic it inspired within me. But having little to no recollection of their debut The Unsettling Dark, I was not sure what to expect of the contents. Montana is not a place I tend to associate with a strong metal scene, though its low population seems perfect for the isolation required of more extreme acts that fall into the black metal, black/folk or ambient spheres. Lo and behold, Martriden offer living proof that the bluffs and woodlands do in fact shelter such monstrous imaginations, for this album is like a juggernaut from out of nowhere, that lifts you by the neck into the cosmos and then dashes your brains out against the nearest planets, asteroids and moons, at the same time hammering your brain with the hidden lore of the universe.

Style wise, they merge massive death metal rhythms with sneering black rasp vocals, all the while fashioning a symphony against the black landscape which smells with glorious atmosphere. We're talking birth and end of the galaxy all at once here, for their tones imply both space opera and science. Encounter the Monolith indeed...a journey of crushing weights offset with astounding segues of lightness, jerking the emotions of your insignificant human life down to the trilobites from which your distant racial memory has bloomed. The production of this album is simply unreal, superior to most recordings from far more cash-endowed, famous bands. It sounds like it was recorded on a bigger budget than something like Fear Factory or Mnemic, and yet features some of the similar, mechanical rambling in the giant, chugging rhythms. That is not to say there is any nu-metal or cheapened groove here, it's all presented like a body of rock rolling through space, sure to bring doom to any terrestrial body it meets.

The musicianship, while competent, is never showy or flatulent. Each bass and guitar line, each drum fill, all complement the darkness of the track between them, as do the synths, which glare into the firmament to provide a theatrical score to the titan-like movements of this cosmic bodies. There are six tracks and 45 minutes of music, so expect more than your share of drawn out material. To Martriden's credit, though, they make every moment so involving that the time will simply pass on by, sweat gathering on your brow as you feel like you've just witnessed first contact with your Creator. All of this praise having passed my digits, I do feel that the band does often lack in the truly memorable songwriting department. There are many solid, constituent riffs, and certainly the sum of these = full immersion to the experience, but few that I'd point out as 'you HAVE to hear this'. My favorites would probably be "The Three Metamorphoses" and the title track, but there is nothing here that lacks effort or full conviction to the ideals of the band's higher mysteries.

I keep wanting to circle the sun with all manner of interstellar metaphors, but coming back in to earth for a landing, I feel compelled to offer the bottom line: Martriden is a great fucking band, and we have very few acts here in America that can create such a gripping hybrid of black and death metal in such hi fidelity sound. Raw, primal kvlt black metal this is not, but an outburst of modernized vision from which the musical genre is but the larval stage. If Galactus started a metal band inspired by the novels of Clarke or other sci-fi isolation luminaries, it would probably sound like this one...just imagine that.

Highlights: Colossal shapes crashing and careening through a vacuum.

Verdict: Win [8.75/10]

http://www.martridenrocks.com/

Hearse - The Last Ordeal (2005)

Though in general I feel that the career of Sweden's Hearse has been on the constant upswing, their third album The Last Ordeal was a little bit of a jam in the gear. The album is not a heavy departure in style from the previous year's Armageddon, Mon Amour, and there is a great, almost live quality to the album through which you can almost feel a subliminal audience cheering for the band's rocking rhythms and blazing blues-based melody. Cranked to its full potential, there is no doubt that headbanging can ensue from its vital energies, but the actual songs do not provide much in the way of memorable entertainment, and it's another of those many albums delegated to just 'good' and going no further down the brain stalk towards the heart.

"Pathfinder" sounds good and crushing with a rock momentum that occasionally skirts the band's death metal core, but the melodies are not all that interesting, simply blues wail-offs that bridge the sodden rhythmic structure. The best part of the song comes near the 3:00 mark when Liiva does some freakish, otherworldly, demonic vocals, and then the bridge dies into a tranquil segment around 4:00 with some ethereal female singing. "Quintessence" feels more like an Entombed variety of death and roll, breaking for a thudding bass line drowned in droning guitars, before a more forward, violent thrust. While dynamic, and certainly one of the heaviest songs on the album, there isn't a lot here that I enjoyed save maybe the bridge melodies, and how Liiva doubles up his growls with a clean tone. "Shackles of Guilt" has an interesting intro, with children crooning in the foreground of what sounds like helicopter blades spinning...freaky. As the rock arrives, it features more of a series of Entombed-like balls-out punk riffs.

"Ambrosia" follows, a 2 minute instrumental laden in thick, doom-like atmosphere, where a ringing harmonic guitar follows a pattern of chords into the rolling wall of thrash that inaugurates "Una Lucha a Muerte", all brazen leads and immersive momentum that serves as the most interesting song on the album to this point. "Bountyhunter" is one better, a viral, thick death/thrasher with a lot of biting melodies that simmer foremost in the broth. Some of the atmosphere Johan creates when his vocals tear off echoing through the bludgeoning valleys of the guitars are stunning, and I really like the vibrato effect he interjects on some of the cleans. A dark trip worth taking, though the lyrics are mediocre at best.

The third and final section of the album begins with another instrumental, this time the folksy "Demon Curd" which erupts from river-rolling acoustics to blunt weapon-chords, built almost exclusively for the mosh pit or for some private activity in which you...mosh alone? Second to last "Aggravation" paints a broad blues brush with its opening salvo of rhythms, before a cool seque with a whispered sample, and then some barreling caustic death'n'punk hardcore over which Liiva offers some somber, monk-like chanting. Its a strange mix, between the more uplifting guitars and these bleak monastery overtures, but somehow works as one of the album's better tracks. "The Last Ordeal" is likewise unique, a slowly building, dark gothic rock which collapses under the weight of some crushing chords and Johan's swerving from aggressive to just somber.

This is nowhere near the best of Hearse, but pay special attention to the production of the album and the vocals, which are certainly as strong as their other albums. Though I have compared the band to Entombed often, they're really a lot more dynamic and atmospheric, as if everything were recorded to provide a cavernous (or space void) quality, which is perhaps where the subliminal audience comes into focus. If you're new to the band, I'd advise hunting down Single Ticket to Paradise or Armageddon, Mon Amour, but if your curiosity runs a little deeper, than you wouldn't be entirely disappointed with The Last Ordeal.

Highlights: Bountyhunter, Aggravation, The Last Ordeal

Verdict: Win [7/10] (to suffer is the key)

http://www.hearse.se/

Iron Maiden - The Clairvoyant/Infinite Dreams EP (1990)

The First Ten Years: Part X

The Clairvoyant/Infinite Dreams EP is the 10th and final release in the First Ten Years collection. If you've been saving your pennies and spending them on each of these double-single packs, you would have now owned the vouchers required to order the box set in which to store them! Congratulations. You now own a collection of largely redundant singles with a few worthwhile B-sides that are possibly available somewhere else. In all seriousness, though, if you've got this entire set and it's in good condition, more than likely you can make some money off it (through online auctions or a metal market at a convention).

Interestingly, like the Running Free/Run to the Hills EP, this offering consists only of live material from the two original singles. So The Clairvoyant (1988) is missing the studio version of that song, but otherwise they are reprinted normally. The live offerings off of that include "The Clairvoyant", "The Prisoner" and "Heaven Can Wait", all from the 1988 Monsters of Rock tour at Donington Park, and they all sound great here. A good, airy soundboard recording, and how often do we get to hear "The Prisoner" live? I was most impressed with that track of the three.

The Infinite Dreams single from 1989 features three more live tracks, from a performance in Birmingham England. "Infinite Dreams" and "Killers" are no surprise, but then we are given the live treatment of "Still Life" from the Piece of Mind album, not something we hear every day, and the novelty helpts give it the edge over some of the more common selections. After these tracks we are given closure with the final "Listen With Nicko!" segment, and thank the stars for that. He does seem rather thankful here for being given the chance to communicate all these anecdotes to the fans, and thanks them for the band's success and buying this collection, so in the end you don't feel so down on the guy. He does seem rather enthusiastic to be finished his 'mumbling'.

The one big problem with this EP (and so many of the other First Ten Years singles) is that all the material is available elsewhere, through later releases. For example, all of these tracks are available on the bonus disc to the 1995 re-issue of Seventh Son of a Seventh Son. And the Infinite Dreams live tracks are available on the Maiden England CD. So there is a limited value at best, unless you have passed on those or you were collecting as these things hit the shelves. But as for the content, all the songs sound pretty good, definitely a positive live experience that you'll enjoy beaming out of your car or drunk at a party.

Judging by the fact that 2000 has already come and gone without another series of EPs called The Second Ten Years, I doubt we'll see another marketing strategy like this one. There are certainly enough singles out there since Infinite Dreams. Perhaps the band will simply gather the material up on full-length compilation albums, a cheaper alternative for the fans. In today's economic climate, I just don't see something like this happening, except perhaps a virtual version on something like iTunes But then again, we got the Somewhere Back in Time compilation...so expect the worst.

Verdict: Fail [4.5/10] (play the game again and again and again and again...)

http://www.ironmaiden.com/

Iron Maiden - Somewhere Back in Time: The Best of 1980-1989 (2008)

I'm going to assume that there are children out there, budding young boys and girls who are, understandably, being exposed to Iron Maiden for the very first time. Or perhaps some older, ripe fans who just never gave the band the time of day based on a hostile predisposition towards metal music or metal fans. Perhaps some sap was simply unaware of the band at all...having spent his/her life under a rock somewhere, or with a nose so far up a book or his own arse that he's never seen the logos, heard about the concerts, seen a kid with a T-shirt. I admit that I may look down upon such ignorami, but that sentiment is coming from a guy who always makes a point to see and hear everything around him, striving to ever improve upon his situational awareness.

But EVEN to these people, who are theoretically discovering Eddie, Bruce, Nicko and Steve for the first time in their lives, I will say: do not waste a fucking penny on the 2008 compilation Somewhere Back in Time: The Best of: 1980-1989. Not only is this collection void of any worth due to its redundant track listing, but to purchase such a thing is only to encourage wasteful, crass commercialism. I address this command towards these initiates only because I cannot imagine any studied metal fan, even the most casual, wasting his hard earned cash on this heap of nonsense. Now I don't know if this album was some sort of contractual agreement or what, but do we all remember the constant tirades Bruce Dickinson was offering on stage when Maiden performed at Ozzfest? Remember the egging incident?

Remember all that talk about American corporations, and greed, and how it was killing our rock shows? Well, Bruce, Somewhere Back in Time: The Best of: 1980-1989 is perhaps the most telling example of hypocrisy I have ever seen in Maiden's history. Whether you wanted this compilation to exist or it was just the record label farming for a few more dollars to stuff in their obese breeches, it is a waste of space, suitably only for immediate recalcitration into the component elements that caused its very being. Round up every copy of this album, take it to a goddamn refinery or recycling pit, and make it so.

Does the track listing even matter? Should we bicker and argue about the contents, about which song deserves to be here and which does not? Has every Iron Maiden fan not already gone through the ultimate Maiden set list countless times in their imagination? As the title would imply, this is a collection of their popular material from the 1980-89 albums. All of which are albums you would already own in full if you give a damn about this band or 80s metal period. There are 15 of them, and the compilation is over 70 minutes in length. Iron Maiden and Killers are ignored with the exception of the live versions of "Phantom of the Opera", "Wrathchild" and "Iron Maiden" from the Live After Death record. Most of the remainder are the more notorious sing along tracks that we all know and love, and probably own somewhere else: "The Trooper", "2 Minutes to Midnight", "Wasted Years", "Can I Play With Madness?", and so forth.

Beyond the inherent, recycled hogwash of its musical content, I can't believe someone had the indecency to mutate the covers of my favorite Maiden albums (Powerslave and Somewhere in Time) into this abomination. Tack on a logo, copy over some master tracks, print a booklet, and profit. What is next, EMI/Maiden, X Factored: The Best of Iron Maiden: 1990-1999? Let me guess, will it contain "Fear of the Dark", "Tailgunner" and "Bring Your Daughter...to the Slaughter?" Don't get any ideas!

Verdict: Epic Fail [0/10]

http://www.ironmaiden.com/

Iron Maiden - Women in Uniform/Twilight Zone EP (1990)

The First Ten Years: Part II

The 2nd entry in the First Ten Years EP series collects together the Women in Uniform single from 1980 and the Twilight Zone single from the following year. Like the first and third volumes, they're the originals recorded with Paul Di'anno; no attempt is made to whitewash the past, so the fan is getting exactly what he or she might have missed out on in the band's budding years. Of the two singles, Women in Uniform is the more valuable, since it consists of two songs you wouldn't have gotten on the original albums. However, as "Twilight Zone" was not included on the original UK release of Killers (added later on the '88 edition), that track might have some inherent sentimentality for English fans.

Women in Uniform includes the title track, a fun and frolicking rendition of a cult hit from the now obscure Australian rock band the Skyhooks, from their 1978 album Guilty Until Proven Insane. Yes, about two years prior to the Maiden version, and also released as a single itself. Go figure. The song seems to match the early iron well, especially with Di'anno's frenzied rock and roll squealing near the end in which he sounds like he's trying to fellate James Brown. "Invasion" is a non-album track, and the best thing on this EP. It had originally appeared on their Soundhouse Tapes with a cruder recording, and somewhere along the line it must have at least provided the inspiration for "Invaders", but it's very entertaining, a good old mash of pure 70s NWOBHM fury and punkish undertow. Like the previous Sanctuary single, a live track is included from the Marquee, London in 1980, and here it is "Phantom of the Opera".

"Twilight Zone" is an excellent track, with a good ol' shuffle metal rhythm and some amazing atmosphere kicking in through Di'anno's vocals in the bridge. I also find the lead relevant to my interests. Because it kicks ass! Other than this, though, there is only "Wrathchild" which appears on the Killers album. Basically if you had the original US release for Killers, this single is worthless. "Listen With Nicko!" has McBrain at an even more relentless level of 'hasn't had his morning tea', enthusiastically telling us the tale of how Maiden decided to cover the Skyhooks and so forth. Once again, we're 'lucky' to have this, as apparently McBrain does not own a copy of the original singles...though it is curious to know that "Twilight Zone" is Adrian Smith's first single with the band, and Nicko talks about touring alongside Maiden in his old band Trust, but briefly.

Women In Uniform is actually a good single. Even though I'm not a huge fan of the cover, it has "Invasion" which is quite cool. Sadly, it is paired up with Twilight Zone, which is detritus unless you are somehow an Englishman without access to the track. Still, if you wish to collect all ten...well, you gotta catch 'em all.

Verdict: Fail [4/10] (left my heart all bruised)

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